Goodbye 2013,We had enough of you. Hello 2014,Please be good

While everyone anticipating the arrival of the new year, I felt somehow burden and anxiety  filling up the dates of 2014. This year wasn't so kind to me but I wont deny the challenges and adventures that took place in 2013. I have traveled to many places inside and outside the country and have fulfilled 6 out of my 10 resolutions, carrying forward 4 to the coming year. Being financially independent helps me to fulfill my wishlist faster than I thought. One thing that I struggled and still struggling the most is getting consent from my mother who thinks I should get married first before booking for flights and carrying my luggage around the world.

Self identity and writing ,

The confusions are still there, I'm still navigating my way of finding the right path for me. Besides, I'm actively writing, (even though I don't post regularly here) because I want to write for myself, if people likes to read my blog,its kind of a bonus. But sometimes in Blogger I get distracted with amount of followers and comments which eventually affects me in some way. So until I get rid of obsessions over comments and over what others think of me, I will be limiting the posts.

What I'm expecting from 2014?

To be more braver in voicing out my opinions. Sometimes or rather should I say all the time, I feel as though I'm doing things to please/make others happy more that my own self. Seriously, its wearing me out and makes me tired and depressed. I don't want to say yes for lunch time invitation when I have no mood to eat.I need to learn to say NO rather than saying YES for something that I don't want to do.

Personality,

I'm getting rid of my old clothes lately, it is sort of cleansing my inner self, getting rid the pain of the past even though one can be very skeptical about it. But this ritual really forces me to get something good and new to wear even though after few days I go back to my old faded t-shirts. While other girls shops for new dresses and cosmetics, I filled up my room with books and more books and 2013 had really been a year of books for me. Maybe that's how I filled up the void in my heart. I don't know why, I never have any interest in improving my outer appearance. I'm just too comfortable in my 5 years old, worn out black jacket. And people who loves me doesn't care about how I look even though sometimes my mom thinks I should wear nice clothes more so that it will be faster for me to get married. I'm doing just fine being me.

Career,

Looking for new job prospects, going to attend interview soon for higher post coming January. Eleven people have applied for this job,only one position  available. Not sure who applied it though but I heard some senior colleagues are trying their luck as well. So far my performance have been good. At the same time I'm looking around for jobs in other departments as well. Hopefully I will get some raise in pay by Mid March.If not I''m leaving the company for good because i don't want to have a stagnant career and doing the same job for many years to come. This is not what I signed up for when I joined the company back in 2012.

Friendship,

Over the years especially in 2013, I have become more of an introvert. I changed my number and deactivate FB a number of times. The only reason I'm keeping FB alive because of the games. I find solitude to be so soothing. But its hard to be in solitary because people around wants to be with me all the time. They don't understand my needs to be alone. My friends think that I have forgotten them because I'm in a relationship or have found other new friends.  That's not the case actually, I just want to be alone in my room and read. My job requires me to speak for 8 hours daily. I just have no time to attend their calls and listen them gossiping about others. Nowadays I don't find anything in common with most of my friends. Most of the time, they invite me for shopping which I loathe so much. I know its not good to cut off friendship just like that, but many times I feel they weren't there when I needed them most and they can never understand me for who I am. I have few friends in Bloggers and M seems to be tagging along just fine with me. I think that should be enough for now.

Love,

If something that makes me go on despite all the hatred towards everything, it will be love. Everyday, I'm grateful to be still  in love, grateful to have someone who understands me well. Someone who's not ashamed of sharing the same plate of food with me in public. Someone who accepts me for who I am. Someone who is patience enough to deal with my madness. Its not easy to maintain a relationship despite of so many limitations between us. Some people are making it really hard for us and we are constantly struggling to keep things going.Life is surely going to be a bumpy ride, if not this challenge, it will be something else. I'm keeping my fingers crossed, hoping 2014 bring some good vibes.

Overall it had been a very balanced year for me, some days ended in tears and some days begin with so much laughter. I hope 2014 will be a better one for all of us.

Happy New Year everyone, wishing you all a great beginning. :)

Spinsterhood? No

M asked me for lunch not with an invitation card of course but more like she wanted me to join her. 

A message popped out on my screen; "Hey are you going to cafe later?" Yes. "Ok, Great see you there!"

You see being the kind of person that I am now, I don't want to go lunch with anyone but sometimes I just have to give in to the kind thoughts of my colleagues who are trying to pull me back to civilization.

Along with food on her hands, M brought some of her girlfriends to the table as well.  A tall lady on her thirties and a skinny girl on her late twenties appeared in front of me and I nodded to welcome them to the table.

"Have you found someone yet,how about the guy on the matrimony website?" her friend asked.

"I will only marry someone with hundred thousand balance in his account"she said. Her friend lectured her about the true intention of marriage and why is it wrong to think that way. From the look on her face, I knew exactly that she was just saying that to brush off the marriage talk from her shoulder. 

After they left,she told me something that I rarely hear from her. She shared some personal stuff to me, someone whom she barely knew apart from the fact we are working in the same department.

"It's not that I don't want to get married,I'm already thirty.He's not committed towards our relationship. He said he has some obligations  and his siblings are not married yet so he cant just ring the wedding bell yet. I don't think I can wait any longer for a guy who doesn't commit. If my parents come up with someone I'm just going to get hitched. I need some kind of security." 

That day I wasn't so much worried about my stolen lunch time, I was more concerned on what will happen in 5 years time.

The clock is ticking ...

Now and Then

I adore those who can write flawlessly, the way they line up words in sentences, creating a perfect harmony and mesmerizes anyone who reads them.

Words are beautiful, and to be able express oneself with words is definitely a gift that not everyone could own.
I love writing but for the past six months, words are hard to come by.

A lack of confidence I would say, but at the same time I do realize it could be because of the job I'm having right now. There's a reason why I'm still clinging on to the current job apart from the fact that it paid off my bills.

There's a lot of things happening in my life, some are very bad and some are very good. Life has its own share of ups and downs but then don't ever let your guards down. I have been hiding a lot of things from my parents and friends which I don't really like doing, but then it seems like nobody understand or even try to understand my point when I share
All their arguments seems to be based on religion and little on humanistic approach. It's really hard unless one day God himself can come down from wherever He is and explain to them about my feelings.
So that's why I have completely stop mingling around anyone these days and the sad part is I have stopped blogging altogether. From this post, you guys should have hinted how scattered my mind is right now but all I wanted to do is to start writing again.

Life is Beautiful :)

I kept on congratulating her. What else should I say when my best friend break the news of her engagement on the phone. I was overwhelmed and speechless for a moment. Indeed, I have never been this happy for someone else. Smiling like a mad lady and offering chocolates to my mother had just made her to question my sanity more.:P A very heartfelt congratulation to her. And now after reading this line, I would like you guys to pray for her happiness. She’s someone who is very important to me. Please do that for me okay? :D

On the other hand,24th March is my late cousin brother's birthday. He would have turned 25 this year and only God knows how merrier it could be if he still alive. It would have been a double celebration as my brother's wedding is just around the corner. But life doesn't promise a bed of roses, bad things happen and death is something than we can never run away from.

Anyway, I hope he's doing whole lot better over there, having fun at the other side of the world. All through his life, he had been a good son, a good brother, a good friend and not forgetting an awesome lover to his girlfriend. Time flies and now it’s almost three years already even though it just seems like yesterday for us. We lost him due to a plane crash and even now when the aeroplane crosses the skies all that flashes through our mind was him and his dream of becoming a pilot. We all had been waiting so eagerly for the day he comes home waving his pilot licence to us but then I guess we weren't that lucky to have him a bit longer in our life.

A very happy birthday brother,you are dearly missed almost everyday..

Yes your favourite little sister is all grown up now..and do you know that our ‘S’ has started to play piano and she's just so awesome with it..a lot of things had change bro, but I cant never forget all that moment that we shared together.Life is all messed up but every now and then I see yourself in the kindness of some strangers. When life brings me down, I know you are always there watching me over and catch me when  I'm  just about to fall..I wonder how it will be if you are still alive :')...

Apart from all that,24th March is also the day I took up blogging seriously..
so in a way its my blog 's birthday too ;)

In fact, I received my very first comment a year ago and yes it was from Poonam of course ;)

Hoping for some candy bars

When I was a kid,I used to fall sick frequently and its a normal routine for my parents to travel back and forth to the hospital.Even when I return now,the doctors will be showing my records and tell me how I had been a loyal paying guest to the hospital.

There was an episode where I had to be given an injection on my back and of course being a kid I was terribly afraid of that long-intimidating syringe. Before the doctor gets his needles ready,he starts a simple conversation such as ''What's your name?'' How old are you and then he jumped to '' what you wanted to be when you grew up?''

While I was there,having a silent war on my mind whether to answer Doctor or Lawyer, he was already done with that shot on my back.Then,all that follows was a complete silence except for that 'Ouch' sound from my mouth.

You see,he carefully distracted me from the pain by diverting my thoughts to wander somewhere else. Of course before I left the room, he gave me some candy bars that's more than enough to take away all the pain in the world. The point is I don't remember the doctor's face,what's more his name.I don't even remember how painful the OUCH was,but till today I can never forget those candies and the child-like grin on my face.

I'm doing the same thing now,distracting my pain to something else.I'm not running away or trying to fix things around me.I have decided to sit cross legged on the floor of the cliff and concentrate on the breath taking view from here.This time I am set with a blanket and a tent. Instead of letting the phone kept on ringing,I've decided to pick up the call.I'm not happy nor sad,I'm just contended and grateful for all the little things that I'm having right now.

I admit that my life wasn't shaping the way I want it to be,at times I wish I could hold the key to my own destiny. Perhaps,as the saying goes..'we cannot change the cards we are dealt,just how we play the hand' would be appropriate to be made as a reference in my book called life. 

Who knows one day,maybe I will be able to forget the pain and all I could remember was those tiny small victories in the form of candy bars..

One more thing, you don't always get a chance to stand on top of a cliff ....

Standing on top of a cliff

‘Depression is a big word,I wouldn’t prefer to use it to describe my state of mind’. Alex’s words echoes back to me.

I couldn't agree more with him few years back but now I want to borrow that word from the dictionary. Yes, depression, that feeling of standing on top of a cliff, not having the guts to fall and at the same time not wanting to make a U-turn. So I stand there, tormented by the heat, strangled by the cold with legs shaking and hands shivering. There’s a void inside me, it’s been there for quite some time. Sometimes I wish I could grab a stranger’s hand, drag her to a bench and tell her all the stories from the very beginning. But even when they are all ears, I couldn’t formulate a word. 

It’s strange, I have a good family (with some flaws of course) and good friends but then I don’t know what brings me to this cliff in the first place. I feel as though the freedom had been taken away from me, just like a bird, not trapped in a cage, but a bird with wounded feathers, wanted to make a fly but just couldn’t move its wings. It’s all started since the day I’ve graduated. Nothing seems to be exciting anymore. I just don’t know, I was searching for something beyond that I’ve lost track of time. When I look back it seems that I’ve wasted a lot of time chasing for something that’s never real.

There’s something bothering me in my head with questions and doubts that I couldn’t really decipher at this moment. I have to admit at times I just wanted to pack my things, sneak out of the house when everyone asleep and never ever returns back. Completely disappear from everyone and start everything all over again at a different place with different people where nobody knows me, but it ain’t that easy as it seems. I love these people too much that I can’t bear to leave them behind.   

I’m still there, on top of the cliff. It’s just a matter of time for me to gain enough energy to make a jump but I won’t because when the last time I was there, God send me someone that came and grab my hands, someone that assured me that I can still fly even with broken wings. Indeed God has always been benevolent towards me.

For now, I’m still waiting for a signal that could set me free from all this insanity that brings me to this place, waiting for that someone to come, grab my hands and teach me how to fly again.

And so I’ll wait because I have all the faith in the world....

Deleted

How is it feels to be forgotten? When someone decides to tear your page off from their book called memory? When all you can do is watching them in horror as they crumble your page and threw it over the roof. You stood there,motionless,wondering what went wrong that makes it painful for them to even remember you . It seemed that deleting you from their life is the best thing that they could do for themselves.I guess it hurts especially when we're left without a reason. Aren't we all deserve an explanation? On the contrary,what if someone forgets you unintentionally? Like Anita suddenly becomes the vague image of a girl who wore big glasses during high school. That's it! You no longer have a name,all you have now is a girl with big glasses. Eventually one day,without doubt Anita will soon be forgotten,no more big glasses,she will just be the invisible girl behind the class that nobody knows.I don't know which one hurts more,forgotten by someone intentionally or unintentionally.Maybe it's all depends on the person who forgets you but I know a thing for sure that I died a little when someone forgets me,I die again and again when someone kills me in their memory. Here I am with a warm coffee on the table and hands on my chin wondering how many people had killed me in their memories and how many people that I had killed so far?All I'm asking is forget me not. Will you do that for me?

I 'Heart' You

Yes.One day,I wake up ,login to my blogger account and I was thrilled to find out that ‘the Other Side of me’ had hit 1001 100 followers readers and I couldn’t help myself from drawing a smile on my face.While I was totally being delusional about my newly founded joy,suddenly I remembered something that I wanna do when I had 50 followers back then.So folks before I reach my 150 readers,I think I shouldn’t procrastinate more on this thanks-giving post.

Okay before that,

A welcome note from this awesomely idiot,dumb, crazy author,

Ehem *clears throat* I started this blog as a complete anonymous. Most of my earlier post will tell you stories about how wrecked my life was,I guess I make my life that way. :/ I couldn’t help that from happening,I would say it was all part of growing up. Then,soon or after this blog starts to evolve from random stuff to short poems then to cute poems and once I did wrote a crazy love-fiction which till now waiting for its completion of Part 2.Trust me people,I guess it will never arrive :P. Besides,this blogosphere had given me lots of joy and also a chance to get to know some lovely people that shares the same love for writing and expressing themselves. I guess people here know more about me than my own family. :D

Without further ado,

*The orders doesn’t matter really..so don’t get offended yeah :P

Beyond Horizon-One of the early bloggers that followed me out of pity love for my blog and she never fails to drop a comment on every crap awesome post that I wrote.Initially we were connected with a smile post and then it evolves to hugs,wishes,emails,FB and now not a day passes without me wishing her morning and without her wishing me Nites.A soul sister I would say. About her poems,it just more than lovely and often left me speechless. I love the way she includes the moon and the stars in her poems..Its magical.:D

Alcina-My best friend in blogger. She knows a lot a about me,more than me myself. She had been patience with all my ramblings and crazy emails.She loves me but I love her more. She’s someone that I wish to meet someday. We both looking forward for the day and her poems are just so romantic and makes me silently wish to be able to write like her one day. Its amazing how both of us could count on each other even though we are separated by miles. I always have this special connection with this girl even though we have never met in real.*Hugs* ..one more thing baby,I cant bear the punishment..its too hard on me :)

Crystal-Ah the sweet girl ..Now who doesnt know her :) She's lovely,her words are as clear as crystal. She has a very pleasant personality.We used to exchange some emails and that brings us more closer that those rib breaking-bones crushing hugs. Crystal baby I think Ali Zafar is cute. :) This young girl has so much talent and I hope she never ever gives up writing because that's what Crystal is all about.

Suvaiba-She reminds of the girl that I was or I am still.A mirror of me,the same crazy-ness and the same lengthy emails.Love her more coz of that.Thanks to crystal for introducing you to me... and suvy duby darling our names are the best thing that happened to us,hain nah?She writes lovely poem and some random stuff about her cute-fun life.It's always a pleasure to read her. Ms tigress,I hope you and crystal baby come to place someday so that I can bring you guys to the best ice-cream place in town.

Furree Katt-A beautiful blogger and one thing that I like the most about her is her hairstyle.I proposed to my mother for that hairstyle but as usual access denied.Well, I have to agree on the fact that I would look awful with that hairstyle. Anyways Furree is a fun- loving- out going person. She blogs about her awesome-cool fun filled life and her doodles are always cute especially when she drew herself with that scarfs on. I have mentioned her before on my blog and i'm glad to do it again now. :)

Aliza-I like her name.I really do.She suggest me to read rage of angels and yes I bought that book and whoa..I fall for Sheldon's writing. Thank you so much for dropping by my blog frequently and you mentioned that you love my blog,yes Aliza my blog loves you more.Stick around here always.:D


PeeVee-Ah..she spread her PeeVee-ness around here. A blogger that I love to drop by and scream at her shoutbox. The post that she wrote about her special someone really made me smile and you don't know,I read that  post of yours at 3 in the morning and believe me the post was as sweet as honey.Blogger looks dull without you.Glad that you are back and now I can feel chocolates all around. PeeVee,love ya

Ovais- I had a couple of conversation with this guy via mail and chat and 99% of the talk would be about the one that leaves him breathless. He's so much in love with this girl that the whole blogville knows about their romantic relationship.The one that leaves him breathless is indeed a lucky girl. I hope your migraine doesnt disturb you that much. He's one of the guy that wishes to change the world in his own way,I wish him luck on that. Good luck on your studies too.I hope 18 Downing Street always speak about you and her always :D

Chintan-She's the blunt blogger.I admire her bluntness and outspoken personality. Something special about this lady is that she does what she like the most which is blogging. She brings some good issue to be discussed about and those topics are quite relevant too. One of the bloggers that I really looked up to.I respect you Chintu.:D

Reicha-A lady with words,I would say.She’s kind enough to drop by my blog,tolerate with my craps and still come up with a heart warming comment. I love to read her comments and she never fails to bring me smile with her words. She writes lovely poem and I hope for her to fill up her blogs write more and more poems. One of the angels in blogville that I love to see around my blog.Keep spreading smile baby and its amazing how you always have the right words to say.Love ya.

Aakash He is one of the most dumbest cleverest,craziest loveliest lamest coolest blogger in this blogosphere.:PI was confused whether to highlight his amazing sense of humor or the poet part of him.Then I realized the reason why I had followed his blog was because I fall in love with his poems in the first place.The poet in you always win aakash. A good friend that I came to know here.He makes me realize a lot of things in life. He knows a lot about me than I know about him.(Well I only know one secret of him) :D.Do write more aakash. Iwould love to read your poems.When it come to this guy I can blabber on and on..but I think I better stop here.Girls,Go and stalk his blog.he loves his female fans ;) and yes he’s still single ;D.Aakash you have to buy me a Coke for this.:P

Serendipity- In my eyes,she’s already a writer. The kind of writer that I love to read.I hope someday she will publish her own book and I will be the proudest person on Earth when I go around and tell everyone.''Oh I know her,I know the writer of this book.'' You do magic with your words and you know you have a lot more to offer. Dimple guys always attracts me and I hope you find your dimple guy soon. You don’t know one thing, I love the word‘serendipity’ so much.

MarieHarmony- A beautiful lady I would say,A regular commentator on my blog,but it just recently I started to follow her blog and I was amazed by her writing and her warm personality. When I read her childhood story I was touched deeply and I know there’s just something about this lady.Good to have you around Marie,people like you are rare to find.I hope we stick around each others blog always.

RedHanded- A mysterious person just like me.Both of us are anonymous here and we have cute mothers to deal with. Anyways her life is more fun filled than my lame life. I love her blog.. [okay now who doesn’t love her and her blog.] I guess I’m not saying anything anymore about this Red lady.She’s just AWESOME..now let the cap locks letters do the talking :D

Sneha- A very nice girl who used to and still drop by my blog frequently. Her blog’s title is dare to dream which  speaks clearly about her vision in life.Her simple way of writing and her insights on life amazed me in every way.I'm glad to have you around girl.I have to agree at times the hope and dreams on your blogs flew by my blog and inspire me.Smiles for you.Keep writing,you are good with words.

Viya-An active blogger,she blogs almost everyday.An archi student and just recently I have found out that she can speak tamil. So Viya do expect me to shout in Tamil on your shoutbox.It’s always a nice thing to relate with someone with the same mother tongue.Viya,I do still remember ,you are the first one to award me on your blog.Love you forever for that.Wish you luck with your VK.

Hamza-A cute 17 years old boy.I have written a post on how much I envied his cooking skill. He awarded me on his blog long long time ago and yes today I’m acknowledging him for that.You mentioned me as a sweet blogger. Still remember? Hamza,you always remind of someone that I knew and that’s one of the reason why I’ve followed your blog in the first place. Hamza I still sucks at cooking and teenage Mutiny rock always.

Ezazi-A cute,young beautiful lady.She enthralled me with her latest poem.This chattering drunk butterfly has amazing sense of humor too.She could make you smile with her words and she’s just awesomely crazy that's the reason why I adore her. Keep writing babe.


Normal is overrated-One of the cute blogger around here.Most of the time she vents out her true feelings.I like the honesty in her words and on some of the stuff she writes,I have to agree I can totally relate to her.Something she speaks my mind and I love her for that.I just wanna say to you that life is really beautiful when people like you around here.Thanks babe and wish you all the luck in the world.God bless.

Raaji- I adore her. I don’t think my words could do justice when it comes to her.She writes for  life,she inspires people with her words. Whenever I feel down,I will drop by her blog and her words is just the perfectly heals my worries.Raaji,I have to say this again I love autumn as much as you do.I do read each and every post of yours even though at times I don’t leave comments. Only God knows how much I adore you, your words and the way you connect life with nature,It’s just beyond the word marvellous.

Blasphemous Aesthete – Can anyone tell me where this guy have been missing? He’s not updating his blog lately but it doesn’t stop me from awarding him here. One of the bloggers that religiously comment on my blog.His comment  always sounds better than the whole post.His brilliant and insight into details posts always left me awed.For this guy,I would say I respect him.Please come back to blogger and I hope your boredom doesn’t steal you away from us for that long.:)


The Updater-Once,she promised me a date with a chef guy! Hey girl I even ditched the dimple guy for the chef guy.:P Anyways this blogger is a wonderful person.She write some random-cool stuff that's happening in her life.Someone who speaks her mind and she never fails to bring me a smile with her comment.I would like to thank you for the award that you gave me long time ago.I really appreciate that.Now grab my award for ya!:D * Nothing is lost and nothing will be* ;)

Moonlight-Owh this girl..she calls me princess here and that's very sweet of her. I've told her how much I love her rhythm/melody filled words that sings to me whenever I read em.You know one thing I loved the description of you in your profile. Its so apt! Do write more.You always makes me smile with your comment.I don't have to tell you how much i loved that,you just know ;)

The Guy In the Mirror-This person had included my blog on the list of bloggers that he loves. Thank you so much.I never had an opportunity to say how much i appreciated that.When I read about your post regarding periods and religious issue that arises from that,I was amazed really. Not many guys will go to that extent researching on this topic properly and come up with a good post.I salute you for that.Besides that,you always write from your heart and I loved the honesty that your post reflects upon.Thank you S.I know who you are :P

SUB-A proud father of her Hridhima.i fall in love with his daughter the first moment I heard her name. Her name means a loving heart and the definition of my name has something to do with hearts too. I love his recent blog ‘evolving daddy' more than the KHOJ blog.:P I loved the love filled post when he writes about her baby girl. Hridhima is the luckiest girl in the world to have good parents like you guys.Touchwood.May she lightens up everyone hearts with her smile.


The Other Side Of Me-I love you,that much I have to say today :)

So.. ladies and gentleman,grab the award.You don't have to write any crap random stuff about yourself.You may keep this award for yourself, display on your shelves blog or pass it around. 


Just do one thing,as soon as you receive this award,smile to a stranger,hug the person next to you,say a silent prayer for me and you... and finally wish me luck.Simple. Have you done that? Now you may leave my blog,and yes please remember to come back later.:)


Thank you peeps,you guys meant A LOT to me.Love all of you.

P.S:Phew!!! OMG, now I have to notify you guys about this award.

I dwell in you,as you

My heart is stubborn

When it comes to you

You decided to walk away

It ain’t easy,

I’m everywhere

I’m the smile of a stranger

I’m the laugh of a kid

I’m the fragrance of jasmine

I’m the silence

I’m the noise

I’m the dreams

I’m the moonlight

You can’t hate me

Coz I won’t let you

I keep you in my eyes

I keep you in my days

I keep you in my memories

I shall be silent

Till you break it one day

I shall be smiling

Coz that’s how you remember me

Coz that’s how I remember you

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Its been some sort of a roller coaster ride for the past few weeks,I find myself on top of the world one moment,where I felt immense flow of happiness and pleasure and then all the fun disappears when I get down from the ride. Everything happened so fast.

People were flocking in my room called life. They shower me with smiles,hugs and yes lots of peck on the cheek. I felt loved truly by these people whom I get to know for just a while. I met some strangers and they fascinates me with their dreams and gave me a sense of realization that I too have dreams,and its time to clear off all the dusts and give my dreams a life.

The ride was fun but as soon as it ended,I felt as though I'm empty with no feelings and direction.I don't know,I'm confused more that ever but don't get me wrong,I'm not sad (Maybe this is just a phase of life)

And now I need hugs,yes Crystal's way of hugging ''super-tight,crushing-the-bones hug''

P.S: I have a friend who can make Lavender ice creams...  Isn't that awesome?

A room that can’t fit all....

Goodbyes are hard especially when someone leaves you without one. It’s strange how life is. Just like a room, people walks in and out of your life all the time. Basically,when someone walks in through the entrance, another person had to walk out through the exit door.  As I mentioned earlier life is strange but it’s always fair. It balances the number of people in our life. It makes sure the room won’t be that crowded. Sometimes I wonder why everyone can’t fit in one room? Wouldn't it be nice to have everyone that you love at the same moment? Remember crowds could suffocate you, leaves you breathless at times. Some people just have to leave when the lessons learnt. Some leaves with a bear hug, some promises they’ll be back before dark, some prefer to sneak out through the back door when you were asleep and never intent to come back again. Some, you’ll be hoping for them to surprise you with a knock on the door every now and then, Some, will kept on nudging you for a cup of coffee and by arriving at the wrong time, interrupting all your plans. Some comes without invitation but leaves with a lasting impression. Some wanted to stay so much but have to leave because someone else needed them more than you. Too bad these ‘some’ you have to let go for better. Some, you never wants them to leave, some you never wants them to come back. Some will stay forever, like a good friend, a faithful companion.

But every time someone leaves, they leave a gift on the door step. A gift called memories. Some memories brings smiles, some brings tears. That’s life! A room that can’t fit all.

I wish I have a bigger room 


P.S: Mmmm coffee, anyone? I have some ice creams too..:) 
P.P.S :I wish I could learn Hindi just the way Elizabeth Gilbert learns Italy :D

The anonymous side of the story

I always wanted to write on this issue of being anonymous in blogger but you see,some crap post will always win out my desire to write on this topic. Recently someone told me you cant be friends with anon.I was really taken aback of that statement. Why is that so? I have friends here who doesn’t know anything about me initially but they still talks to me like a friend (I would say more like a best friend).I told one of best blogger friend the real me only after few months and it doesn’t make any difference; we just get closer by time. Nowadays I’m being quite liberal on this anon thing. Another blogger just got to know the real me as well and it was really fun revealing my self to that person. I love the suspense involved.

Chintan’s recent post really stir a debate over this topic. It takes me about 10 minutes to read the post again and again just to come up with a comment that’ll do justice to me (others as well) and within those few minutes the post started to receive lots of comment and I ended up being fifth person to comment there and I was thinking that I’ll be the first one to comment there.When it comes to criticizing others, people just cant wait to comment right? I guess some doesn’t even read the whole post but started to jump into conclusion about anon bloggers being coward and they have this sense of insecurity and blah blah blah..The list goes on.

At first I was like really pissed off by their awful remarks but then I couldn’t stop laughing at their immaturity. They talked as if they know everything about the psychology of an anon bloggers.. as if they have done million years of research on someone being anon…. hey come one,its not a big deal at all. I don’t like them saying that anon bloggers are fakers and they are not real, it might hold true to some but there are a lot of anon bloggers who are really genuine with their words.

When I started the blog, I swear I never knew there is this circle of blogger that are so active blogging.I would have started blogging if I knew it earlier.when I say that I love all my followers I really meant it,Life has been wonderful because of you guys especially those bloggers who were there when I started the blog.Poonam was the first one to comment on my blog and since then people starts to flocks in my blog,trust me I don’t know what kind of magic that she cast on my blog. :D She’s really my lucky charm and that’s one of the reason she’ll remain a special one in my life. Then I got to know Alcina whom now had become one of my closest friend that I confide almost everything that happen in my life..and she does say my voice matches my personality :P

I’m so sorry if I had hurt anyone on this post.Being anonymous is purely a choice,it doesn’t make me a coward or a social freak who need some place to socialize. This is the only place that I’m anonymous,(I am non anon in FB and Twitters) I just need some space from the people that knows me.In that sense I don’t know anything about you guys as well apart from your names and does that picture of you tells the real you..No right? Somehow we are all anynomous without our names. I think its fun this way and yes I’ve improved a lot on my writing coz of the confidence that I gained from you guys.Come on guys,life is suppose to be fun… so stop judging others and let us live this moment and what’s in name,after all I am no different than all of you,(I don’t have purple bloods) I’m just like any ordinary girl who jokes,laugh,freaks out whenever I watched ghost movies and never miss the chance to wet my feet along the shores. We don’t have any rights to characterize someone on the choices that they make,anon or non anon,I am me and for God’s sake I do exist and trust me I’m really a girl. (some even doubts that) …

We can still be friends,even though we doesn’t know about each other.

Cheers.Peace.Smiles

Phew…that was a long post!!!!


P.S :Please feel free to state you opinion on this matter.You see,I don't eat people :P I hope I've done enough justice to me and other anon bloggers out there..Cheers to our anonymity !!!

P.P.S: Dear chintan,it was really a good topic to discuss about :D

Me and my cool life :D

Some cool stuff is happening in my life,and yeah..so here I am with a list!!..I love making list

• A cute guy with a dimple seems to like me :P and yes I have a thing for dimples
• My six years old niece is experimenting with different hairstyle and she's growing up sooo fast (wait for me my dear,lets grow up together) ;)
• My mom is telling me a lot of sad ending love stories (the kind of stories where the guy dumped the girl after having two kids) :/ (Mom,i'm NoT in love,pls)==''
• I'm quitting my job in a month time and suddenly I feel as though I've started to love my job (Maybe because of that dimple guy) *sigh...[I shouldn't have given the resignation letter)
• I love my blog mate + best friend Alcina and I wanna hear you sing..please
• My colleagues are super good at me,I'm gonna miss them seriously
• Again on my colleagues, they taught me a lot of dirty jokes (but yet I'm still the innocent little girl)
• I have improved a lot on my driving skills and nowadays I'm looking forward for a drive around the town.
• Last week I paid my own internet bill,and that makes me feel so adult,and YAY i feel like an adult now
• I have some cool plans after my resignation and my family members were not so keen of that plan,but still I'm gonna do that.
• I hate that guy,seriously..he dont have any rights to judge me..I hope that he doesnt rot in hell (such a nice soul I am ;P)
• I'm not receiving much comments lately (I miss you guys,reallt) and its sooo not cool. (This point shouldnt be included in the list,but I have already typed it..:/
• I'm thinking of a vacation..:D
• I was trying to be fat but Now i cant stop from being fat..I'm so chubby nowadays :D makes me feel so blessed
• I bought three books the other day and I've managed to read two..one more to go
• I'm in love with Sidney Sheldon,I would have married him if he's still alive..
• I dont want to go bed as yet coz the night is still young
• Hey i still love shoutbox,please shout there..this place need some noise
• I dont have enough money for Iphone 5..I'm sticking to my nokia for now..but it's okay
• Im not goin to bad as yet
• :D:D:D:D
• 
  

P.S: This list is so much better than the previous one http://theothersideofme88.blogspot.com/2011/09/me-and-my-lame-life.html

P.P.S: I'm feeling really happy today..wondering what the dimple guy might be doing now :P

P.P.P.S:Life's good again,spending some lovely moments with the kids..:D

I see faces and I see you

I wonder if anyone else has a similar life as me, maybe no because every face has a different story to tell. I love to observe people in a way that I actually wonder how’s their life could be? Is that guy with a funky hairstyle really feeling happy today? Yes I could see that clearly in the way that he hummed a song and walked with a style along the street. What could be the reason behind those sparkling eyes? Is the hairstyle makes him happy or being able to live his life according to his own will the reasons behind his wide grin or is this cool guy had just fallen in love? I wonder. Then, my greedy eyes shifted to that sales girl, who seemed to be so tired after persuading the customers to her stall, even when she’s exhausted, she looks gracious with that long, glowing hair, and yes that brings me to someone, Oh, how he loves long hair so much. While I was contemplating my own thoughts, a six feet figure attracts me to its sight, oh he looks dashing with that glasses, and my eyes decided to stay on the image for a little longer, well I can say it was indeed a treat for my eyes until a hot girl arrives and wrapped her arm around his, ahhh,he’s taken..that makes me to stop wondering for a while, and yes I have to admit they look awesome with each other.

Here I am, busy writing scripts about some strangers life, of some people whom I have no idea about their lives and a sudden thought came to my mind what if someone else observing me the same way that I do, what could they see in me…a girl who is totally lost in her own world, whom had been staring at everyone since few minutes ago and smiling without any particular reason? Doesn’t this girl have anything else to do besides stalking others with her eyes? I am not sure what’s running through their minds but they have no idea that I’m missing someone…someone who talks with me for hours, who listens patiently to all my rambles of the day and never fails to come up with the right words, someone who could make me smile even though he’s miles away, someone who taught me the rhythm of raindrops and someone who assures me that life shall get simpler for me, someone behind these words

…..you’re a free bird,

      you don’t have to worry about the world,

      you do what you like..:)

Angels come in many forms and yes most of the time they come in the form of a friend…

Yes I missed you

And now its raining and I smiled..I guess I don’t need an umbrella today*wink*

Wilted flowers...

This is one of those moment in my life that I feel like burying myself under the blanket for a little longer,this is one of the moment that i want to lock myself in the room where dark brown curtains can't stop staring at me and this is one of the moments that i don't need an alarm clock to wake me up simply because i just don't sleep and this is EXACTLY one of the moments that I play ignorant game with the beautiful sunshine outside my window pane,refusing to attend to their warm calling and instead letting the darkness to heal my soul.

They are hurting me with their blunt words,yes the kind of words they don't think before they speak,the kind of words that would instantly bring me to pieces. Why they have to this thing to me when I have been all supportive to them all this while,how could they have the heart to say those things right in front of my face?How can they turn cold to me when all this while I have been their shoulder to cry?I am tired of their accusation,they should get out of my life or else I have to walk away from theirs,either one should happen but hope always there,whispering another chance,asking me to hold one because sometimes holding on is better than letting go..I should fight a little harder and I should wait a little longer,because this bond is for ages,shouldn't be tear off in just seconds..


Yes,some words should never left unsaid but some words shouldn't be said at all...

Maybe this moment is the ending of that short beginning...maybe

P.S:I guess I just need a cup of coffee..and some ice-creams as well..(bad combination,i know)

Something beautiful.:)

Dedicated to that special someone and not forgetting my lovely blog friends too.....Alcina and Beyond Horizon.

Today, I need you to……………..

Read my silence,

When the words are gone

Hold my hands

When I’m all alone

Teach my heart to dance

Without a tune

Bring me to the light

When I’m all wrapped up in the dark

Wipe my tears

As I wiped yours

And today, I thanked you ….

Image source

You showed me the sunshine

When I’m lost in the rain

You gave me words

When I couldn’t be heard

You made my day

When you kept me in your prayers

You touched my heart

When the going gets hard

A stranger, you might be

But somehow this bond last for eternity

P.S : Thank you for being here....

Regards

ME