Prompt No 10:A letter to your 16 year old self. What advice would you give?

Dear me,

What advise do I give to you,my16 years old self. Well I think it should be the other way around.The problem in writing this letter is I find it extremely difficult to offer advice to you because I guess I'm way better before than now. I wish I could go back to the past and steal away the younger 'me'.I might not be the best person to offer a lecture on how to live your life because there is no right way to live this life. At least let me give a shot...

Maybe one thing that annoyed me the most about you is the way you are so obsessed with what others are thinking about you,especially when it comes to your physical looks. You want to look more like the 'Others', those girls who believe having perfect waist leads to perfect boyfriends. Believe me,after all these years,I came to realize that things dont work that way.Maybe you might think that I'm trying to poke a hole on your bubbles of fantasy. Someday you'll realize that perfect guys dont exist but there's always one guy that will see you beyond your flaws and love you anyway. You dont have to trim your waist line to woo this guy,you just have to love him more and there's nothing else that he will ask you for.

You know when you are given the rights to advice someone else,you will suddenly realize that you just have a lot of wisdom to give away.So buckle up the seat belt and prepare to read my 'naggings'. Lucky you this is just a letter not a voice recording.Sometimes getting good grades is not everything in life. Its okay to fail and you dont have to cry a bucket for this and its okay to be friends with those who are not as smart as you. Mind you girl,we are all gifted in different ways. Some of your friends might not hit the class topper list but you never know they might be more successful than you in the future. Please let yourself to celebrate each others difference and use this time of your life to do things that makes you happy rather than feeding to the needs of the society. The world have enough of doctors and lawyers already.

Just a soft reminder sweetie,dont be scared of the future.Some days are bright and some days will be dark. At times,you might be feeling lost in the jungle without knowing if there's any path to follow but there's always some bread crumbs that will lead you to the right way. You might have to make hard decisions in life. Some incidents might shake your faith and make you to stop believing in dreams. You see, life is not that miserable as long you have a friend that you can call anytime, as long as you have your mommy dearie to make the best food in the world and as long as you have your loved ones waiting at the door step with ice creams after a hard day at work,everything should be fine. 

Its time to find your own self,go out there and make a difference..

Remember I will love you always for who you are..

Good night,sleep tight..<3

Prompt 9:Your most excruciatingly embarrassing moment.

Well,can I just skip this topic because I just have too many embarrassing moments that happened in my life.
I often find resemblance of myself with the character 'Bridget' whenever I watch the "Bridget Jones's Diary" So I will make this very quick and short ..ok?

There was a time in my life that I had to go school ,wearing school uniform and travelling in school bus. The school bus will arrive approximately around 7am, and its not the kind of bus that will actually wait for you until you come back with your forgotten purse or to wait until all the make ups are done. I was late and obviously was rushing to catch the bus. Perhaps I was concentrating too much at the good looking guy that was coming on my may that I wasn't aware or just couldn't care the presence of a drain in front of me. I tripped and fell into the drain. I'm not sure how much it hurt because I was just too embarrassed to feel any pain.I got up as quickly as I can and never look back since then. The good looking guy actually tried helping me but you see I have something more important to do,I have a bus to catch ...

Every now and then, I still trip and fall..

That one time you told a huge lie and kinda got away with it {or perhaps you didn’t and that would make an even better blog post! Cringe}

There was a huge organizational change happened back then. Our team was divided into two different business line. My whole new team was actually based on a different branch. Aforementioned company branch actually located quite far away and in order to reach there I have to pass by the bridge. My mom was really freaking out when I informed her about this. She told me if I have to move to a different branch, than I might as well quit my job. 

I tried explaining to her many times that I'm having difficulties to work in a situation where I was the only one left out at this branch and I have to move there as it will be convenient for me but all my effort was in vain. Distance wise it might be far but worth the travel. My mother stood firm on her decision and I have decided to move there anyway without telling her anything about it. I used to wake up so early to travel to the other branch and whenever she ask why the trouble going so early to work,I would just say I got a lot of things to do.

It went on just fine for few months till I found out that one of my distance cousin also worked in the same team, By knowing my name,he found out that I am actually his cousin sister.He started to call me 'sister' at office and trust me it was kinda awkward. As I feared, he started to spread the story about me working at this branch to his family members.Some secrets can't be hide forever.  My dad  happened to meet his dad at a funeral. During the casual talk,his dad bring up the topic of me who is working in the same company as his son. My dad,totally clueless about this was dumbfounded and asked me the next day  where exactly I was working. I was shocked but daring enough to say that I'm working at the same branch as this while.(I lied again) The whole day I was feeling guilty about hiding this from my father. That night I sneak in to my dad's room,bent on my knees and confessed that I actually working at that mainland branch and ask him not to tell mother as she will be worried about my safety.

Well,knowing my dad, I guess he told my mother about that but she never confront me about this tilll today.Anyways I'm back to the initial branch,special thanks to my current manager for bringing back to his team.

Thanks for reading..

I guess my writing getting worse day by day

Prompt No 4 ...The day you left home

The day I left home...

To be honest I never have a chance to fully move away from home. Just to make my mother happy, I applied for the university located in my hometown. I supposed the universe was all my side when I got to know that it was mandatory to stay in hostel during the orientation week as well throughout the first year of studies. I was over the moon, finally a life on my own.  I still remember clearly what happened on the first day I left home.

My mother actually followed me to the hostel room and do you guys want to know what she told my roommate after done interviewing her?

Dear, please take care of my daughter and please do accompany her whenever she goes bathroom.

However, I wasn’t surprised of the statement because I know I can expect this from my beloved mother.

Nevertheless, I really enjoyed my life three years in university even though I was always home during weekends to visit my mother. It was precious good old days where I can roam the streets and gaze the stars with my friends at midnight without anyone checking on me.

Well that is my mother; she has her own idea of how the life of her daughter ought to be. As long as I’m lying lazily on the bed and facing laptop all the day, I will be fine because her eyes are watching me and she will be in peace as long I am inside the house with her. Sometimes dinner may actually arrive on bed for me.  :O That’s too much isn’t it..(I ain’t gonna raise my daughter that way :P) .You see, that’s where our thoughts clashes. I believe that this is the time for me of anyone for that matter to explore the world and learn new things. 

My mother strongly believes that the world is not a safe place for her daughter. So until she change her mind, (Well I’m trying my best to make her understand), I will continue to lie that I work on weekends and go places to quench the thirst of travelling in me.  My life is confined into a tiny circle and I can’t cross the lines without hurting my mother. Dont get me wrong I love my mother so much and I'm trying as much as I could to make her happy ..Sometimes love makes everything so complicated you see..

Yes, I’m 25 years old and I still live under the comfort of my family mother.

P.S: I wish I can write more on this but my eyes are almost shutting down already.

P.P.S: Please excuse any grammatical error because I'm just to tired to proof read now

....That thing that happened in high school that pretty much changed your life forever

I was and I am always afraid of commitments. The fear of committing myself to something that I might not be able to deliver always holds me back from achieving a lot of things in my life. I’m glad that I came across Priyanka’s  blog post about  this

For the first time in my blog's history I'm going to do something crazy I’m on for the challenge.One of the reason I'm taking up the challenge is that I cant resist the temptation of writing those interesting topics besides of the intention to keep this blog alive. Of course I’m afraid  but as Priyanka said, If we don’t try,we’ll never know..

So,the first  of 50 sweetest things to blog about..

Here you go, the Prompt No 1

..That thing that happened in high school that pretty much changed your life forever

Betrayal

Some things that happened in the past cant be corrected till today and certainly cant be erased from our memory just like that. As I used to believe,'betrayal' was just a word in the dictionary but not till I learn the real meaning through the hard way. What kind of person were you when you were 13? I was the kind of person that if you love me I will you give you the sun,the moon and my paycheck. When someone that I thought was a friend betrayed me, it had clearly made an impact throughout my life.

The only reason we became friends was because she sat behind me. If you knew me back then,you would know how much of an introvert I was. And I don't have the reason to make much friends in school as half of cousins studied in the same school.

The incident happened one afternoon during Arts class. The teacher was quite a strict one and it happened to be that the whole universe decided to go against me when I forgot to bring my Arts notebook to school. I manage to cover my mistake by pretending to copy the notes with a paper on top of other subject notebook. My desk mate helped me to cover myself from the attention of the teacher as well. Everything was going on well as I started to say thanks to my guardian angels.Just when the class about to end my teacher ask her to come in front just to do a random checking on notes. It appeared to be that she didn't bring her notebook as well and was caught red handed by the teacher. While the teacher was lecturing to her about this,she told the teacher that I forgot to bring the book as well. Isn't that the most cruelest thing to do?

Of course what happened next was history. I was scolded in front of the whole class and was punished to write ' I will always remember to bring my notebook" (cant remember how many times though). Being scolded in front of the class was really something sensitive and humiliating to a 13 years old girl. I used to be very timid and this kind of situation certainly lower down my confidence level.

That was it..I stop speaking to her altogether. Since then, she was on top of the list of those that I don't wanna see in my life.

But You know,sometimes fate loves to play around especially by misreading all our wishes. I happened to bump into her many times in university and she added me in Facebook as well and started to PM me,asking what am I doing. Betrayal is always a betrayal. I don't know why I am like this but whenever I want to be close to someone this scene  always appeared on my mind like a big warning signboard along the highway. I started to become very cautious and started to filter every one who initiate conversation to me.Some of you might think that this whole thing is not a big deal but its kinda hard for you to become friend to someone who betrayed you once.

Or maybe I'm just not the forgiving type.

Maybe she just happened to teach me a lesson for life.

The end...

P.S :I might not be able to post daily but let's see how far this can go





  

A post out of Boredom-Tricks to call in sick to work

I called in sick to work  today and I am really bored right now. Last night I had some breathing difficulties,it seems that I am allergic of a medicine called Norgesic which Doctor gave me for the jaw pain that I was suffering for two months.

The choking/breathing difficulties last for more than two hours. I felt as though I couldn't breathe anymore and I see myself gasping for air and slowly attempting to breathe through my mouth. I still couldn't believe on what happened few hours back but one thing for sure when I started to see the vague figure of my dead grandfather,I certainly knew that Norgesic was playing with  my mind. 

Its Monday and its not cool to call in sick because its the busiest business day but I don't want to drive to work on this condition with drowsiness and so on. Eventually the breathing got better by noon and I'm well enough to update my blog.

For those who are not sick but want a day of two off,here are some tricks you can play along ;)

1. Called in the earliest possible to let your boss know that you are not feeling well to turn up for work. If you called later in the noon,most likely your boss will be suspicious that you woke up late and just making excuses not to come for work.

2.If you would like to plan leave earlier,make sure you act well to let your co-workers know that you are most likely will fall sick the next day.

3.If your boss/manager in your Facebook page,please don't be fool enough by updating status of your getaways or check in to any restaurant. That will make your boss really mad.

4.And yes please please appear sick when your turn in for job the next day,if you wanna cheat,do it the right way.


5. If  can please try to get medical certificates (MC)from a certified doctor.Its not that hard to fake your sickness just wake up in the morning don't brush your teeth and straightaway head to the nearby clinic. Changes are high where the doctor himself will offer you MC without you asking.

While these tricks are certainly effective,please don't overdo it and ended up losing your job. If you have a great boss like mine please try to go work everyday and less MCs means you have more bonus and promotions will come your way.

If you have an awful boss,then go ahead,play the trick well and make sure you  be a little more creative every  time you called in for sick.


P.S::The plan to introduce my mom to RJ couldn't be executed for certain reasons. Will definitely keep you guys updated about the progress.:)

How does it feels?

How does it feels to be a caterpillar that could not turn into butterfly?

How does it feels to be a child without mother?
How does it feels to be a bird with broken wings?
How does it feels to be crippled?
How does it feels to be a beggar on the road?
How does it feels to wake up in the morning without hope?
How does it feels to be a snake that has lost its venom?
How does it feels to be a caged lion?
How does it feels to lose everything at some point in life?

Life is so imperfect with so much flaws. But then what is life without imperfections? In imperfections,we see perfections. Perfect love,perfect courage,perfect strength and perfect smiles.There's a certain beauty in imperfections that can't be seen in perfections.


I don't want to be Perfect,I want to be Imperfectly beautiful.

I can't even think of a title!!!I'm that lost here

I think the ability to write and express yourself in words is a gift that only some have. I had the privilege once but now I cant write anymore.Its been a while and even writing a lengthy email to a dear friend take ages to be composed. I don't know,should I blame it on the hectic life that I'm having right now or should I blame it on the crashed computer that I just managed to fix it now after errr...months.

Well well,I'm back and I don't know how many people still remembers me here. Nevertheless you people always have a special couch on my heart.

Although its just been slightly more than one month I've posted anything over here but it feels like years..Hmmm..I guess I'm just over exaggerating my thoughts..Okay people its good to be home and I hope I were missed while I'm gone.

And yeah to all of my love readers...A Happy Eidul-Fitr..Have  a good one with your loved ones...

I hope I could post something more interesting that crapping about my disappearance on the next post..

Till then over and out...

Restoring faith in me and God..

I don’t want to start this note with a negative tone but life is surely a struggle for me now. When I receive the call from this ‘Company X’, I was literally over the moon because working in this company is almost like a beautiful dream coming true right in front of my eyes. Nevertheless, all my family members were excited as well. But now after joining the company for more than one month down the road, I see myself struggling to perform at work. Everyday ends with a loud sigh as I walk through the exit door. I can’t recognize myself anymore and feel down all the time because I put almost everyone down. I hardly spend time with friends and family as I spent most of the time in office trying to learn as much as I could.

I came to a point that I don’t know how to do this anymore. Its like I’m really struggling to adapt in this place and constantly thought of running away from all my responsibilities. But I don’t want to do that because I really like this job,it’s just that I’m having a tough time of performing at job. As things really burdening, I tried talking to my Level 2 Manager and he was really kind at listening. He assures things are really hard in the beginning because it’s just been one month I’m here and its not fair expecting too much from my own self. He also added that all this mounting pressure was because I’m comparing myself too much with my senior colleagues at this job.

Whatever it is, I really want to settle down in this job as fast as I could because I really want to be good at this. Everyday after work I sit down and learn all the things that I did at office but it’s just that I’m not seeing myself progressing. Maybe I’m just putting myself in a very stressing situation.

Well,I really don’t know.I have been neglecting myself and God for the past few weeks. I have lost faith in me and God. This is not good at all,I know that for sure. I have to come back to myself and God or else I’ll be lost forever and might lose this job. I want to stay in this job because I really have an awesome team to work with.

Whenever I’m feeling down,I’ll come to this place and pour my heart out and you guys always have the right to say and lift me up…I know I cant be perfect but I just want to be good at this …

Please help..I need you guys now…

SomethingNESS

Its 1.13am now.Can't sleep even though feeling sleepy like hell. Feeling a bit unrest as if the world had turned its back on me tonight. No, this is not going to be another depressing note from me. Its been a while since I've written anything fun over here.Missing the old 'The other side of me'.


Yeah kinda missing writing about my mother's tale, not forgetting my maniac driving skills and also about the havoc I create in kitchen.:P  This place had become a lame place lately. Some cool bloggers had quit blogging or disappear into somewhere. Missing some of my old readers and their awesome comments.


Talking about something fun,I bought a red shirt after a long time searching for the right one at the mall. Besides that,I attended an interview last Friday,not sure whether they will hire me or not. :| Hopefully they do because I'm tired of finding jobs already even though this is only my first interview this year after quitting my job four months earlier. I hate looking for jobs..Its really a tiring process :|


Besides that,brother's wedding preparation on full speed..there's only about two weeks more..After 15 years there's wedding in the house..renovation going on and it seems like all the relatives are excited about the wedding..I guess the most anticipated question on my brother's wedding would be "so,when's your turn''?


P.S: I know this is the crappiest post that I've ever written,but who cares????


P.P.S: wish me luck guys..I need lots of luck


P.P.P.S: need some MOTIVATION too..feeling LOW these days..

Time to move out and move on.

My dear readers, let’s do something today. Help me to pack up. It’s time to shift old memories and compact it into a box. Seal it with tapes, make it airtight. They shouldn’t be let out nor should anything else be let it. Grab the photo frames on the dressing table. It’s been haunting me for days. Bring it on all the letters and cards under the bed. They don’t have a place there anymore. Clear all the clothes in the wardrobe, each of them telling me stories about yesterdays. I’m all over it and after all they don’t fit me anymore.

Shut the windows and draw the blinds. Pull over the luggage and clear the pile of dusts on top. I need the luggage to pack up some lovely memories. This house had seen many good things too, can’t bear to leave them behind in a place with no occupants. Lovely memories need me as much as I need them. It’s not fair to push away our good fellows to the back line especially when all the punishment belongs to the wrong guy.

Don’t forget the china set which given by a lovely friend. Reminds me of that special birthday that I had years ago. That old bed sheet smells of something sad. Leave it at the same place, they shouldn’t been drag along to the new bed. Oh my! I really need to be careful when moving out those fragile stuff, they should be handled with care. As for now, I only have them with me.

The contract had been drafted. Lawyers had been hired. All I need is to pen down a signature and the house doesn’t belong to me anymore. Now comes, the last ritual, the most awaited moment. I closed the door and lock it for the last time. With a luggage on my hands and boxes on the track, I bid the final adieu to my old life. Here I am now standing on my doorstep, blowing goodbye kisses to the old keys and threw it away behind those hills. Who needs the old key when the new home is waiting to embrace me with a hug?

Goodbye my old life, you’ll be forgotten but will never be missed. In either ways, you are at loss, not me. I have a new life peeking me from the other sides, convincing me to dream and begging me to move on. I felt wind brushing through my hair. It’s time to leave my past behind, it’s too burdensome to carry it on to the future. Isn’t it better to be safe than sorry?  The past had taught me that some mistakes are too costly to be repeated. Memories is what makes us who we are but when it starts to haunt you, then it is best to be forgotten.

After all, we have only one life, why not live it to the fullest?

A note from Myself to Me

Dear me,

I know you are not being in your best mood lately. Things going haywire and depression is a word that you are living right now. I knew the other day when you were coming back home from work at night, you could easily merge into some unknown road and never return home ever, but you did come back because this is the place that you always belong. Life is not a bed of roses, this is for sure.

Indeed, there will be a lot of stones and hurdles along the way, and so its time for you to kick away those stones aside and jump over the hurdles when you travel this journey called life. I agree that the world outside is not that as innocent as you have thought, so it’s okay to be selfish at times but never lose your dignity along the way. Things changed, people changed and you have to accommodate yourself with the changes because this time the change is certainly for your own good.

And there’s always a reason why certain people enter your life just to walk away after a while. Every bit of their memories hurt but always remember to hold tight to those happier moments because life gives you the fair amount of joy and pain. Life balances up itself that way. But it’s good because for every wrong person that comes into your life, they certainly left a lesson or two to bring home the end of the day.It may look so over the edge now,but I assure you,when you look back one day,all these moments will bring you tons of smiles and remind you how far you had travelled so far.

Deep down,I believe the spark is always there. Its just that you have cocooned yourself in a bubble.Let yourself go,let go the fear that is eating you up. You can always be the person that you want to be.Its all in the mind,unlock your true potential as I always believe that you are indeed someone special. The greatest fear is your own self,and when you learn to overcome it,I bet the world that nothing can ever stop you again. Speak up for yourself because no one else will do it for you. Remember you make choices not choices make you.

And I have all the faith in you because when you gaze upon the sky,you know that all the angels are busy conspiring with nature to bring you nothing but pure happiness. You have to give TIME some time. Be patience,I heard them saying. We cant be sure of what will happen the next second because life is certainly short but I will never let my hands off you.I'll be there within your reach and I'm someone you can always count on. No one knows you better than me myself.Till then keep smiling because that is the best dress you can wear for your face.

Sleep tight honey. Rest all your problems under the bed. Wake up to a new morning tomorrow.Its time to stop running and pause for a while to smell the roses.

From

Myself

P.S: Sometimes you just have to have hear it from your own self  :)

Because parting is such a sweet sorrow...........

Don’t you say Hello again, because I don’t have the strength to say Goodbye anymore. I’ll learn to embrace the cold that you threw towards me and let it to melt away the warmness in my heart instead. I’ll learn to accept the fact that your words doesn’t speak about me anymore. From now onwards, I will learn to cross the road without you holding my hand tightly, stopping me whenever I impatiently trying to get to the other side of the road.

When our favourite songs played in the radio, I’ll try to ignore the memories that came toiling behind those lyrics. When it comes to taking a bite of my favourite cheese burger, I’ll remember that you won’t be there to gently wipe away the mustard on the corner of my lips what’s more to keep me accompany for lunch. And so I’ll learn how to eat properly and alone next time. Somewhere along the way, if a stranger smiles, I’ll try to fast forward your never ending smile that could make me to leave the whole world behind just for that.

When the sunshine greets me, I’ll remember not to hope for a warm morning hug from behind my back. I'll even forget the morning coffees on the porch,the chocolate sundae in the drizzling rain.When the evening falls, I’ll make sure the windows and doors locked because it’s just me and the four walls tonight. I’ll try not to run towards the door anxiously whenever the door bell rang because it seemed that you have lost the track to my home.I’ll try to hide my disappointment whenever I mistaken a stranger for you at a departmental store because he look so much like you or maybe because I’ve just known only you all my life.

And yes now we have come to a crossroad that leads to different paths. I’m taking this side, and you’re taking that one. Don’t choose the same path as mine anymore. No,this time I don’t want to travel with someone who used to let my hands off in the middle of a journey.

It’s going to be a new journey, its going to be a lonely ride without you but somehow I can sense some freedom, a new breath and a new life, a new beginning that follows after a hopeless ending.

Here I am,destiny had brought me to the final page of the book and to my own dismay this book doesn’t deserve a second read.I'll bring it back to the shelves,let the pile of dust hide it away from my sight forever.


This time, I just couldn’t agree more with Shakespeare as ‘Parting is such a sweet sorrow’.

For someone who stole my heart, I’ve given a farewell as your gift……….

Hoping for some candy bars

When I was a kid,I used to fall sick frequently and its a normal routine for my parents to travel back and forth to the hospital.Even when I return now,the doctors will be showing my records and tell me how I had been a loyal paying guest to the hospital.

There was an episode where I had to be given an injection on my back and of course being a kid I was terribly afraid of that long-intimidating syringe. Before the doctor gets his needles ready,he starts a simple conversation such as ''What's your name?'' How old are you and then he jumped to '' what you wanted to be when you grew up?''

While I was there,having a silent war on my mind whether to answer Doctor or Lawyer, he was already done with that shot on my back.Then,all that follows was a complete silence except for that 'Ouch' sound from my mouth.

You see,he carefully distracted me from the pain by diverting my thoughts to wander somewhere else. Of course before I left the room, he gave me some candy bars that's more than enough to take away all the pain in the world. The point is I don't remember the doctor's face,what's more his name.I don't even remember how painful the OUCH was,but till today I can never forget those candies and the child-like grin on my face.

I'm doing the same thing now,distracting my pain to something else.I'm not running away or trying to fix things around me.I have decided to sit cross legged on the floor of the cliff and concentrate on the breath taking view from here.This time I am set with a blanket and a tent. Instead of letting the phone kept on ringing,I've decided to pick up the call.I'm not happy nor sad,I'm just contended and grateful for all the little things that I'm having right now.

I admit that my life wasn't shaping the way I want it to be,at times I wish I could hold the key to my own destiny. Perhaps,as the saying goes..'we cannot change the cards we are dealt,just how we play the hand' would be appropriate to be made as a reference in my book called life. 

Who knows one day,maybe I will be able to forget the pain and all I could remember was those tiny small victories in the form of candy bars..

One more thing, you don't always get a chance to stand on top of a cliff ....

Painting a dream

Let me paint you a dream,

Of a street boy receiving a scroll

Of a world with brothers and sisters

Of a border that I could pass with smiles

Of Jews and Muslims holding hands

Of humans that fear God

Of hugs that always returns

Of justice belongs to the poor

Of little bridesmaid and flowers

Of a dad holding his princess

Of a child that learns to fly

Of a boy becoming a man

Of a lady embracing her newborn

Of colours that blend in one

Of friendship beyond races

Of eyes that speaks love

Of hearts that dances in rain

Of a world without hunger

Colours & paint brushes all set

All I need is some sleep

For some dreams

Can only be seen

With closed eyes

In the dark

Tell me,do you dream?

Love,as I know it

Perhaps, the greatest joy in life is to be in love and to be loved. In my case I never had a chance to have it both. When I’m in love, I can’t be loved and when I’m being loved, I just can’t be in love. Nevertheless, love knocks many times in my life. Sometimes, it comes through the main door and no doubt I welcomed it with an ear to ear smile. At times, it sneaks in through the back door, giving me a nightmare and trouble my sleep but most of the time love prefers to peek me from outside my window and left as soon as it hears me saying ‘Better luck next time’. Some say it could be lust,some blame it on infatuation and all of its kind, but then what does real love means? Waiting for him to respond for 10 years and still hoping that he will one day? I’ll rather call it optimism than to give it the love badge. Or is it like the one depicted in movies where the hero smack the villain’s head and finally wins out the dream girl of the town? I’ll call it something else. Or it just the testosterone and estrogen playing hide and seek as claimed by the bald professor guy next to me? I have come to a point that I don’t know what love means anymore and to be exact I’m not really sure whether true love still exist or not. But its just too obvious that right now there’s a bunch of Indian mothers sitting cross legged, staring at their finger nails and telling me ‘Let us handle your love story honey, you just have to pick up your wedding gown. Everything else assured’. That freaks me out, but for now let the ‘DO NOT DISTURB’ sign hang on my doorknob a little longer, yeah a little longer.

Image courtesy

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How is it feels to be forgotten? When someone decides to tear your page off from their book called memory? When all you can do is watching them in horror as they crumble your page and threw it over the roof. You stood there,motionless,wondering what went wrong that makes it painful for them to even remember you . It seemed that deleting you from their life is the best thing that they could do for themselves.I guess it hurts especially when we're left without a reason. Aren't we all deserve an explanation? On the contrary,what if someone forgets you unintentionally? Like Anita suddenly becomes the vague image of a girl who wore big glasses during high school. That's it! You no longer have a name,all you have now is a girl with big glasses. Eventually one day,without doubt Anita will soon be forgotten,no more big glasses,she will just be the invisible girl behind the class that nobody knows.I don't know which one hurts more,forgotten by someone intentionally or unintentionally.Maybe it's all depends on the person who forgets you but I know a thing for sure that I died a little when someone forgets me,I die again and again when someone kills me in their memory. Here I am with a warm coffee on the table and hands on my chin wondering how many people had killed me in their memories and how many people that I had killed so far?All I'm asking is forget me not. Will you do that for me?

The Reflection

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   I saw the reflection of hers

On the mirror of a jawli shop

Slanting sunlight hurt my eyes

Doesn’t stop me from peeking her sides

Braided long snake hair

Telling me heart rending tall tales

Glass bangles dancing away

Spreading around musical chords

Red pottu attracting stares

Jasmine flowers luring bees

Leaving young lads drooling behind

Struggling to put her off their minds

Beneath her golden silk saree

Silver anklets playing hide and seek

Accompanying her every steps

Packing along honour and tradition

Of yesterdays and tomorrows

I haven’t told you something

That’s she’s black

And she’s a beauty!

-Jan 2 2012-

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To be honest, I feel strange here.I don’t know how to make a come back ..A lot of things on my mind, but cant really scribble from heart right now. In fact I feel like an alien in my own country, spent exactly 30 days in India and all I could say was it’s a beautiful place to travel and trust me I never thought   winter could be that cold. I find myself constantly lost and found in a stranger’s land but still felt somehow there’s not much difference between me and them ..Eat,pray and lots of friendship… I guess I’ve grown up a lot of years in just a month. 

On another note,I know that I have emails to be replied,blogs to be visited and so on….will do that soon……

So for now,tell me how’s this post?

Mary and her Berry ;)

MUST READ just because I felt so happy while penning this down and the kids loved the way it rhymes.I know this poem sounds like a school rhyme..I just couldn’t resist myself from posting this..Goodbye people,will be back soon ;) Love you all from the bottom of my heart..:)This is for all of you..(I hope you people won’t laugh reading this =.=’’)

Wanna hear a cute love story?

About Mary who wanna get marry

To a guy who look like a Berry

But he’s in love with a gal name Cherry!

She will even move to the hills

And willing to seduce him with her heels

But Mr Berry doesn’t wanna see

The gal that she wanna be!

Mary can’t even tell her mum

The reason why she feels so numb

While her Berry cherish with Cherry

All Mary need is a fairy!

Cupid change the setting

Love comes in a blink

On a cloudy night,Berry saw Mary

He swear,she’s the one he wanna marry!

Mary and her Berry

Blessed by the fairy

Happy ending story

They live in merry!

P.S:May God bless Anu,the cute blogger who passed away recently.RIP

I 'Heart' You

Yes.One day,I wake up ,login to my blogger account and I was thrilled to find out that ‘the Other Side of me’ had hit 1001 100 followers readers and I couldn’t help myself from drawing a smile on my face.While I was totally being delusional about my newly founded joy,suddenly I remembered something that I wanna do when I had 50 followers back then.So folks before I reach my 150 readers,I think I shouldn’t procrastinate more on this thanks-giving post.

Okay before that,

A welcome note from this awesomely idiot,dumb, crazy author,

Ehem *clears throat* I started this blog as a complete anonymous. Most of my earlier post will tell you stories about how wrecked my life was,I guess I make my life that way. :/ I couldn’t help that from happening,I would say it was all part of growing up. Then,soon or after this blog starts to evolve from random stuff to short poems then to cute poems and once I did wrote a crazy love-fiction which till now waiting for its completion of Part 2.Trust me people,I guess it will never arrive :P. Besides,this blogosphere had given me lots of joy and also a chance to get to know some lovely people that shares the same love for writing and expressing themselves. I guess people here know more about me than my own family. :D

Without further ado,

*The orders doesn’t matter really..so don’t get offended yeah :P

Beyond Horizon-One of the early bloggers that followed me out of pity love for my blog and she never fails to drop a comment on every crap awesome post that I wrote.Initially we were connected with a smile post and then it evolves to hugs,wishes,emails,FB and now not a day passes without me wishing her morning and without her wishing me Nites.A soul sister I would say. About her poems,it just more than lovely and often left me speechless. I love the way she includes the moon and the stars in her poems..Its magical.:D

Alcina-My best friend in blogger. She knows a lot a about me,more than me myself. She had been patience with all my ramblings and crazy emails.She loves me but I love her more. She’s someone that I wish to meet someday. We both looking forward for the day and her poems are just so romantic and makes me silently wish to be able to write like her one day. Its amazing how both of us could count on each other even though we are separated by miles. I always have this special connection with this girl even though we have never met in real.*Hugs* ..one more thing baby,I cant bear the punishment..its too hard on me :)

Crystal-Ah the sweet girl ..Now who doesnt know her :) She's lovely,her words are as clear as crystal. She has a very pleasant personality.We used to exchange some emails and that brings us more closer that those rib breaking-bones crushing hugs. Crystal baby I think Ali Zafar is cute. :) This young girl has so much talent and I hope she never ever gives up writing because that's what Crystal is all about.

Suvaiba-She reminds of the girl that I was or I am still.A mirror of me,the same crazy-ness and the same lengthy emails.Love her more coz of that.Thanks to crystal for introducing you to me... and suvy duby darling our names are the best thing that happened to us,hain nah?She writes lovely poem and some random stuff about her cute-fun life.It's always a pleasure to read her. Ms tigress,I hope you and crystal baby come to place someday so that I can bring you guys to the best ice-cream place in town.

Furree Katt-A beautiful blogger and one thing that I like the most about her is her hairstyle.I proposed to my mother for that hairstyle but as usual access denied.Well, I have to agree on the fact that I would look awful with that hairstyle. Anyways Furree is a fun- loving- out going person. She blogs about her awesome-cool fun filled life and her doodles are always cute especially when she drew herself with that scarfs on. I have mentioned her before on my blog and i'm glad to do it again now. :)

Aliza-I like her name.I really do.She suggest me to read rage of angels and yes I bought that book and whoa..I fall for Sheldon's writing. Thank you so much for dropping by my blog frequently and you mentioned that you love my blog,yes Aliza my blog loves you more.Stick around here always.:D


PeeVee-Ah..she spread her PeeVee-ness around here. A blogger that I love to drop by and scream at her shoutbox. The post that she wrote about her special someone really made me smile and you don't know,I read that  post of yours at 3 in the morning and believe me the post was as sweet as honey.Blogger looks dull without you.Glad that you are back and now I can feel chocolates all around. PeeVee,love ya

Ovais- I had a couple of conversation with this guy via mail and chat and 99% of the talk would be about the one that leaves him breathless. He's so much in love with this girl that the whole blogville knows about their romantic relationship.The one that leaves him breathless is indeed a lucky girl. I hope your migraine doesnt disturb you that much. He's one of the guy that wishes to change the world in his own way,I wish him luck on that. Good luck on your studies too.I hope 18 Downing Street always speak about you and her always :D

Chintan-She's the blunt blogger.I admire her bluntness and outspoken personality. Something special about this lady is that she does what she like the most which is blogging. She brings some good issue to be discussed about and those topics are quite relevant too. One of the bloggers that I really looked up to.I respect you Chintu.:D

Reicha-A lady with words,I would say.She’s kind enough to drop by my blog,tolerate with my craps and still come up with a heart warming comment. I love to read her comments and she never fails to bring me smile with her words. She writes lovely poem and I hope for her to fill up her blogs write more and more poems. One of the angels in blogville that I love to see around my blog.Keep spreading smile baby and its amazing how you always have the right words to say.Love ya.

Aakash He is one of the most dumbest cleverest,craziest loveliest lamest coolest blogger in this blogosphere.:PI was confused whether to highlight his amazing sense of humor or the poet part of him.Then I realized the reason why I had followed his blog was because I fall in love with his poems in the first place.The poet in you always win aakash. A good friend that I came to know here.He makes me realize a lot of things in life. He knows a lot about me than I know about him.(Well I only know one secret of him) :D.Do write more aakash. Iwould love to read your poems.When it come to this guy I can blabber on and on..but I think I better stop here.Girls,Go and stalk his blog.he loves his female fans ;) and yes he’s still single ;D.Aakash you have to buy me a Coke for this.:P

Serendipity- In my eyes,she’s already a writer. The kind of writer that I love to read.I hope someday she will publish her own book and I will be the proudest person on Earth when I go around and tell everyone.''Oh I know her,I know the writer of this book.'' You do magic with your words and you know you have a lot more to offer. Dimple guys always attracts me and I hope you find your dimple guy soon. You don’t know one thing, I love the word‘serendipity’ so much.

MarieHarmony- A beautiful lady I would say,A regular commentator on my blog,but it just recently I started to follow her blog and I was amazed by her writing and her warm personality. When I read her childhood story I was touched deeply and I know there’s just something about this lady.Good to have you around Marie,people like you are rare to find.I hope we stick around each others blog always.

RedHanded- A mysterious person just like me.Both of us are anonymous here and we have cute mothers to deal with. Anyways her life is more fun filled than my lame life. I love her blog.. [okay now who doesn’t love her and her blog.] I guess I’m not saying anything anymore about this Red lady.She’s just AWESOME..now let the cap locks letters do the talking :D

Sneha- A very nice girl who used to and still drop by my blog frequently. Her blog’s title is dare to dream which  speaks clearly about her vision in life.Her simple way of writing and her insights on life amazed me in every way.I'm glad to have you around girl.I have to agree at times the hope and dreams on your blogs flew by my blog and inspire me.Smiles for you.Keep writing,you are good with words.

Viya-An active blogger,she blogs almost everyday.An archi student and just recently I have found out that she can speak tamil. So Viya do expect me to shout in Tamil on your shoutbox.It’s always a nice thing to relate with someone with the same mother tongue.Viya,I do still remember ,you are the first one to award me on your blog.Love you forever for that.Wish you luck with your VK.

Hamza-A cute 17 years old boy.I have written a post on how much I envied his cooking skill. He awarded me on his blog long long time ago and yes today I’m acknowledging him for that.You mentioned me as a sweet blogger. Still remember? Hamza,you always remind of someone that I knew and that’s one of the reason why I’ve followed your blog in the first place. Hamza I still sucks at cooking and teenage Mutiny rock always.

Ezazi-A cute,young beautiful lady.She enthralled me with her latest poem.This chattering drunk butterfly has amazing sense of humor too.She could make you smile with her words and she’s just awesomely crazy that's the reason why I adore her. Keep writing babe.


Normal is overrated-One of the cute blogger around here.Most of the time she vents out her true feelings.I like the honesty in her words and on some of the stuff she writes,I have to agree I can totally relate to her.Something she speaks my mind and I love her for that.I just wanna say to you that life is really beautiful when people like you around here.Thanks babe and wish you all the luck in the world.God bless.

Raaji- I adore her. I don’t think my words could do justice when it comes to her.She writes for  life,she inspires people with her words. Whenever I feel down,I will drop by her blog and her words is just the perfectly heals my worries.Raaji,I have to say this again I love autumn as much as you do.I do read each and every post of yours even though at times I don’t leave comments. Only God knows how much I adore you, your words and the way you connect life with nature,It’s just beyond the word marvellous.

Blasphemous Aesthete – Can anyone tell me where this guy have been missing? He’s not updating his blog lately but it doesn’t stop me from awarding him here. One of the bloggers that religiously comment on my blog.His comment  always sounds better than the whole post.His brilliant and insight into details posts always left me awed.For this guy,I would say I respect him.Please come back to blogger and I hope your boredom doesn’t steal you away from us for that long.:)


The Updater-Once,she promised me a date with a chef guy! Hey girl I even ditched the dimple guy for the chef guy.:P Anyways this blogger is a wonderful person.She write some random-cool stuff that's happening in her life.Someone who speaks her mind and she never fails to bring me a smile with her comment.I would like to thank you for the award that you gave me long time ago.I really appreciate that.Now grab my award for ya!:D * Nothing is lost and nothing will be* ;)

Moonlight-Owh this girl..she calls me princess here and that's very sweet of her. I've told her how much I love her rhythm/melody filled words that sings to me whenever I read em.You know one thing I loved the description of you in your profile. Its so apt! Do write more.You always makes me smile with your comment.I don't have to tell you how much i loved that,you just know ;)

The Guy In the Mirror-This person had included my blog on the list of bloggers that he loves. Thank you so much.I never had an opportunity to say how much i appreciated that.When I read about your post regarding periods and religious issue that arises from that,I was amazed really. Not many guys will go to that extent researching on this topic properly and come up with a good post.I salute you for that.Besides that,you always write from your heart and I loved the honesty that your post reflects upon.Thank you S.I know who you are :P

SUB-A proud father of her Hridhima.i fall in love with his daughter the first moment I heard her name. Her name means a loving heart and the definition of my name has something to do with hearts too. I love his recent blog ‘evolving daddy' more than the KHOJ blog.:P I loved the love filled post when he writes about her baby girl. Hridhima is the luckiest girl in the world to have good parents like you guys.Touchwood.May she lightens up everyone hearts with her smile.


The Other Side Of Me-I love you,that much I have to say today :)

So.. ladies and gentleman,grab the award.You don't have to write any crap random stuff about yourself.You may keep this award for yourself, display on your shelves blog or pass it around. 


Just do one thing,as soon as you receive this award,smile to a stranger,hug the person next to you,say a silent prayer for me and you... and finally wish me luck.Simple. Have you done that? Now you may leave my blog,and yes please remember to come back later.:)


Thank you peeps,you guys meant A LOT to me.Love all of you.

P.S:Phew!!! OMG, now I have to notify you guys about this award.