Friendship in marriage

I watched English Vinglish last night and I think Sri Devi totally nailed it when she gave a speech on marriage to the newly wed.

This marriage is a beautiful thing. It is the most special friendship. Friendship of two people who are equal. Life is a long journey. Meera, sometimes you will feel you are less. Kevin, sometimes you will also feel you are less than Meera. Try to help each other to feel equal. It will be nice. Sometimes... Married couple don't even know how the other is feeling. So... how they will help the other? It means marriage is finished? No. That is the time you have to help yourself. Nobody can help you better than you. If you do that... you will return back feeling equal. Your friendship will return back... Your life will be beautiful

Meera... Kevin... Maybe you'll very busy... but have family... son... daughter. In this big world... your small little world, it will make you feel so good. Family... family can never be... never be... never be judgemental! Family will never... put you down... will never make you feel small. Family is the only one who will never laugh at your weaknesses. Family is the only place where you will always get love and respect. That's all Meera and Kevin... I wish you all the best. Thank you.

I personally think if you adhere to these words, life will be more beautiful despite the ups and downs that comes your way. 

I think marriage is for life. :) 

The word divorce can never separate two hearts.

Spinsterhood? No

M asked me for lunch not with an invitation card of course but more like she wanted me to join her. 

A message popped out on my screen; "Hey are you going to cafe later?" Yes. "Ok, Great see you there!"

You see being the kind of person that I am now, I don't want to go lunch with anyone but sometimes I just have to give in to the kind thoughts of my colleagues who are trying to pull me back to civilization.

Along with food on her hands, M brought some of her girlfriends to the table as well.  A tall lady on her thirties and a skinny girl on her late twenties appeared in front of me and I nodded to welcome them to the table.

"Have you found someone yet,how about the guy on the matrimony website?" her friend asked.

"I will only marry someone with hundred thousand balance in his account"she said. Her friend lectured her about the true intention of marriage and why is it wrong to think that way. From the look on her face, I knew exactly that she was just saying that to brush off the marriage talk from her shoulder. 

After they left,she told me something that I rarely hear from her. She shared some personal stuff to me, someone whom she barely knew apart from the fact we are working in the same department.

"It's not that I don't want to get married,I'm already thirty.He's not committed towards our relationship. He said he has some obligations  and his siblings are not married yet so he cant just ring the wedding bell yet. I don't think I can wait any longer for a guy who doesn't commit. If my parents come up with someone I'm just going to get hitched. I need some kind of security." 

That day I wasn't so much worried about my stolen lunch time, I was more concerned on what will happen in 5 years time.

The clock is ticking ...

After the happily ever after

Falling in love is easy,boy meet girl and they vow to stay together for the rest of their life. Getting married is also easy. Both families achieve a mutual understanding, luxurious gifts exchanged,friends invited and relatives join hands to celebrate the union of two lovers. But what happen next is something  not everyone talks about. As soon as the "Just Married' sign leaves along with the car, the world goes back to its routine and carry on with their own lives.

Staying in marriage is difficult. What happens in the small two bedrooms apartment is beyond your imagination. You find yourself constantly tolerating each other's fault. Maybe first two days the frequently left open toilet lid were unnoticed,but soon or later it might be the reason why he decided to stay in couch some nights. 

You started to doubt the taste bud of your other half. Why one earth he's listening to that crap music? Whats wrong with her,how can she eat that awful stuff? You getting fatter. You need to keep your mouth shut. Why am I the one only doing laundries and cooking today? Stop messaging her. Quit your job. Get a life. You are crossing your boundaries.You dont know your limits.And You have forgotten our anniversaries.The list goes on..

I see a lot of people are getting married at younger age these days. I'm not denying that on the other end,there's another extreme of people who are beyond their marriage age.

I hope married couples dont get separated because of things that doesnt matter. What's wrong of him leaving the toilet lid open? You see,not many people  have the privelege of getting married to their loved one's,so dont blow off your chances. 

For some , love is the only thing they have..

Prompt No 13: Your first love/kiss

I find it extremely difficult to write this and that's why I procrastinated so long before posting this entry. Not that I have some sad moments in my past but i just don't know what to write actually. What does first love means? Is that the crush that I had with the guy next door? Or is it the way that a guy in school kept looking at me for one year without even attempting to approach me? I dont really know. Love is mysterious in its own way and I think to be in love is such a luckiest thing in the world.

I guess all a girl need is one true love that can make her  flush away all her childhood crushes into the toilet bowl and delete that part of her life from the memory compartment in the brain.To be honest,I'm not the golden girl in college that all the guys are after for.I'm just  a normally abnormal girl who prefer to sit quietly in the cafetaria and feels uncomfortable when anyone walks towards me with a tray of food to share the table and the meal time with me. I stop socializing some years ago. Marriage invitation will be unattended. Friends and colleagues birthdays are usually forgotten deliberately. Phone calls will always be silenced and I will only call back if there's anything urgent. I can say I stop looking forward to a lot of things in my life because I'm just too confused on what is true and what is not. Not to mention about the constant struggle within myself.

But despite all this, someone is always there to buy me food and accompany me during my meal time. Someone who I find it so comfortable to be with and someone's whose calls I will alway try to attend or call back when the time permits. Someone who looks me beyond my imperfections,someone who agrees to spend the lifetime with me even after all the tensions that I give him always,someone who tolerates my mood swings,someone who chose me instead of others,someone who decided not to walk away during difficult times and someone who wants to grow old with me...

Someone who is a walking encyclopedia,someone who taught me the logic of human's existence,someone who flips the coin and makes me to think the both sides of the story.Maybe there's a reason why it took so many years for him to meet me. But I'm glad that I met him now and I would like him to be a part of my future no matter what path I will take in my life. 

And that's what I call as my first love..

She's my mother

Oh my God..I love my mother.she's a perfect lady..The reason behind all this loving words about my mother is because......


Okay,currently I am in my room, checking out some new blogs and busy commenting to their respective posts.and i heard some interesting discussion coming from the living room..At the moment, they are bunch of aunties in my house and they were discussing about my brother's wedding..So the much awaited (multi billion dollar question ) finally popped out.!!!!hmmm..so wat's you gonna ask as dowry????

The world is moving very fast, people are changing their mindsets and nowadays lots of girls are getting a decent education and they are becoming independant too-less depending on guys and having full freedom of deciding their own life!!! but still... people are still asking this kind of questions..especially women (to my dismay)!!!!

but I love the way my mother answered them..she answered ''i have two boys with me but never in my life i will ask for dowry''..Hmmm..im sooo proud of her,oh yes she's someone who's still holding tight to her old beliefs but when it comes to women's right..my mother is a modern thinker..And i love her more because of that..

p.s:love you mom :) and I think my future sister in law is a very lucky girl....

p.p.s: Cant wait for the wedding :):):)

The Wedding 0.o''

Okay the big news is that my brother’s wedding is coming soon, First of all it was really an uphill battle to convince my brother to get married. Everyone in the family got so excited but I am somehow being nervous because they’ll be another person sharing the same house soon. It’s pretty awkward for me but anyhow this is not the first wedding in our family. My sister was married years ago when I was a little kid, but it happened long ago,so the whole marriage thing is kinda vague for me.

We went to the bride’s house last night and somehow I felt all the attention drawn towards me. Maybe because I’m the groom’s little sister and maybe by being nice to me ensures that their daughter will be treated well in future. I would say that’s not even an issue after all and  anyways, even when they don’t treat me well, I will still have no problem with my future sister in law as I’m someone who minds my own business and I am girl too nah?

But anyhow I did enjoy all the attention and extra care that they paid towards me. I never know being in the groom side would be so much fun. But the most amusing thing that happened was when I saw my brother being so shy for the first time in my life. Gosh, I never saw him in that way. Generally speaking, he’s is quite a serious type and strict too, sometimes I find it quite hard to talk to him when he’s is in bad mood. Our conversation doesn’t even last for more than five minutes.

Maybe a marriage could reveal the better side of someone. Hmmm.. On the other hand I could see my future sister in law sitting there so nervously especially when she’s surrounded by all my cousins and all the aunties were concentrating on her hair, her appearance and so on. I felt as though  all the eyes that were staring at her have some kind of imaginary assessment box ( the kind that we use to have on the cover page of our test paper) where they constantly tick whenever the criteria’s are fulfilled. (Oh my God, arranged marriage is so freaking scary) Nevertheless, my cousin sisters had a good time teasing and joking with her. The marriage will be due in six months and all the preparations are going ahead time.

Hope all’s well ends well too. May this marriage last for a lifetime. God Bless them and I secretly wish that mine won’t be an arranged one because I find the whole arranged marriage thing to be quite scary as you have to please everyone and apart from the groom’s approval ,you might also need the nod from your husband to be's little sister. Not everyone can be like me right? Some people just love to mess up with other people’s business..:/