In memory of Madiba

When I was a kid, I have this tendency to look for the birth dates of celebrities and renowned political figures to see if it matches with mine. And that's how I found him. Nelson Mandela has been my idol ever since then. After reading about his 27 years of struggle in prison fighting for the rights of his fellow men, I was deeply honored to share the same birth date with him. One surely wouldn't want to imagine spending 27 years of his/her life by just watching the world passing by  through  tiny windowpanes of  prison cells. 

Someone has to come up,someone has to take the lead and fight for their people. That's exactly what he did, leading them from behind and let others believe they are in front.

One can easily feel defeated after a long and tiring journey of despair. One  might even have given up because sometimes when you fight on something for so long and when the days are passing by, you just want to reach to a decision to spend your life attending late night parties, barbeques and watching movies with your loved ones rather than growing old in prison cells. 

Isn't it simpler to live a small life?

"There is no passion to be found playing small-In settling for a life less than the one you are capable of living" -Nelson Mandela

But one man chose to take the longer route, the route to independence and it made a difference to the world we are living today.

Letter written to his wife Winnie Madikizela-Mandela back in November 22, 1979

My dearest Winnie,You looked really wonderful on 17/11, very much like the woman I married. There was color in your face. Gone was the choleric appearance and glazed look in your eyes when you are under pressure of over-dieting. As usual, I kept addressing you as Mum but my body kept telling me that a woman is sitting across this platform. I felt like singing, even if just to say Hallelujah!

Nelson Mandela's prison cell that he spent years of his life.

It's sad that even now we can still sniff racism in our own neighborhood. Asians despise of Whites.Whites despise of Blacks and of course the list can go on and on. Why are we still holding to our bags when a black guy enter the elevator with us? Crime and kindness exist in every race and its unfair to say one race is responsible for all the bad things in the world. Do we really need to put labels to ourselves? Are we really that superior to one another? At least Nelson Mandela had started off something great that we should always be proud of. Hopefully it will be a peaceful voyage now for him.

Rest in peace Madiba, you will be missed dearly. 

Updates

I have grown bored of watching movies during night shift. The thought of bringing a book to work always slipped from my mind. I'm not complaining,working night shift is kinda cool because the working days are shorter. Four days in the first week and three days in the second week,so out of  10 working days you only work for 7 days. The actual problem starts after your night shift ends, the way you adapt  to the normal shifts and going back to the usual hectic and chaos of the day shifts. It's quite crucial to say the least.

Surprisingly my work life is getting better these days. I'm one of the top three agents in my department for this quarter.Maybe I'm speaking too soon but it makes me really happy as all my hard work getting paid well. And customers are sending compliment letters to my manager. I'm glad that I didn't disappoint him as I respect my manager very much. RJ promised me that for each compliment letter,I will get a piece of cake as a treat from him. He joked that he might need to buy a whole cake for me very soon. 

At least one part of my life is going good even though I cried on my office desk yesterday night.I hope nobody heard me as it will be quite embarrassing for me if anyone notice that.  It's getting harder to keep fighting for something. Sometimes I get too tired and I just want to lie on bed and give up on the world. But every time I almost drown,someone always come and pick me up,whisper encouraging words and remind  me that every problem have a solution. It's up to us to find our own way.

I find my whole life is a joke but when I look at those  having a shittier life than mine,I think I have a lot of things to be grateful for. Maybe the universe should stop competing with me over something that I wanted the most.

By the way, RJ came out with a premonition/theory that someday the world will come to an end and this catastrophe might be caused by water because over 70 % of the Earth's surface is covered by water. 

I guess its time to learn swimming...

Night shift

Its 2.43 am and I'm in the office. Technical support job has it perks. This is the first time I'm doing night shift and it's kinda cool. I have watched a number of movies since yesterday.Most likely I'm the only girl in this entire building now. There isn't much call at nights. Several hours ago, an old lady called and ask my help to set up some software for her new computer. She told me it was 1 am in her country. We had some friendly chat while I'm getting my job done by remote accessing to her machine.I solved all her queries to which she wrote some compliment feedback on the website. The lady mentioned that she couldn't sleep so she just wanted to set up her new computer so that she can start transferring her files from her old one. Although sometimes I hate my job but this kind of calls  really motivates me to help out people. Some callers are really sweet especially when they write appraisal emails  about you to your manager.  

On another note my sister is pregnant and she's not that happy, given the fact that her oldest kid is 17 years old. I don't understand what the big deal anyway but she said she's not quite comfortable to be pregnant when she has teenagers at home.So I told her if she doesn't want the baby, I could take care of it.She's alright about giving the baby to me after it's born but anyhow she has to bear the childbirth again. She's a bit traumatic when it comes to the whole child bearing process as she thought she's done with it when her youngest kid was born. Seems like there's a lot of things to look forward to. RJ said its not joke nor easy to take care of kids. There's a lot of responsibilities when it comes to raise a child. 

And I think I agree with him.

Prompt No 20: Your earliest childhood memory

We dont let others to get into our small gang whom consist of five cousins. We stay in the same neighbourhood,our  room doors are always open to each other but not to strangers.Meal time is always wonderful because we have varieties to put onto our plates. I remember those days when we will wake up the earliest on weekends and go for our morning activities. Whomever reach the  the other side of the road first will  emerge as the winner .I remembered how having short legs and heavy body always prevented me from being one. We are also one of the creative kids in the neighbourhood. When we heard there is serial kidnapper roaming in our town, we decided to hold an ad hoc meeting and brainstorm ideas to protect ourselves from these criminals. One of the task was to create a weapon out of anything that can make us escape from dangerous adults. I came out with a weapon made out of ice cream sticks and needles. I sellotaped the needles to the sticks where the sharp points pointed out and covered it with a thermometer cap. Another one of us came out with bottle containing the shavings of pencils that can be used as an alternative to pepper sprays. 

Birthdays are always wonderful. Everytime someone's birthday hit the calendar , all of us will come up with something and combined it together to make it look like a hamper.This will definitely bring up a smile on the birthday baby's face. Meanwhile on the afternoons we spent time at the beach beside our apartment to collect crabs and also busy digging soils in the field believing that we can find new water source for all of us. We even make our own kites out of newspapers and bamboo sticks.I remembered my Dad had to come looking for me because I will be so lost in our adventures that dinner time always almost end at the time we reach our own homes.

As we grew to become adults,a lot of things have changed since then,we stopped talking to each other. I have lost touch with two cousins because our parents decides to end ties with each other. The other cousins are too busy with their own world and so goes with me. I have deliberately deattached myself from them because of clashing thoughts and arguments over things that doesnt matter.

Everything has changed. Now,we have new fields open and more playgrounds are built. There is a reserved path for cyclers and more shops available if you want to grab some chocolates.Sadly,the beach beside our apartment is no longer open for public and so does our hearts stop looking over for each other too..

Prompt no 7:9 things you just can’t handle

1. Unflushed Toilet and all kind/colors of liquid that surrounds it.

Fine,public toilets might be dirty because the public is using it but what about the toilets in companies. Oh my God I just cant believe that some of  'professional' working ladies might need a crash course on toilet etiquette.

2.Smokes

Ever find yourselves in a situation where every way you turns,you inhales black puffy smokes all along. Being it smokers or the almost dying truckers on the roads,I cant handle smoke and of course I cant breathe in it.

3.Sarcasm

First,I'm not good at it. Second,I just don't get it. Third,I think people can be more straight forward than trying on sarcasm. Fourth,maybe I'm just too dumb.

4. The meddler

One moment you hear a group of people talking  loudly or you saw two friends having a deep serious conversation. The next moment,you will see the 'nosy parker' dropped everything and stand in the groups,trying to figure out what's behind the crowds. I cant stand nor handle it.

5. Cry babies

I'm actually quite traumatized when it comes to crying babies. Oh ask me why,BECAUSE I'M SHARING THE ROOM WITH MY TWO MONTH'S NEPHEW.. I don't think you guys need an explanation on that.

6. 'Metrosexual' guys.

Well I don't think there's anything wrong when a guy pay some reasonable attention to his outer look every now and then . But what do you call  a guy who keep running into the washroom to check on his hair appearance? 

7.Mood swings

I have listed a number of things that I cant handle in others but there's something that I can't handle in my own self. My mood swings.It's just getting pathetic day by day. I can even write a lengthy post on this and the person that is most affected is RJ !!!!!! 

8.Unwanted guest

Especially when your favorite show running on the TV and the only TV in the house is in the living room and all the guest are really comfortable in the couch.

9. Racism

I really cant stand racism. When RJ and I go out together,people look at us as if something wrong. As if both of us are from different species and we shouldn't be together, There was once a group of men actually asked RJ 'what is he' and 'what is me'.We were really offended by what they said to us.

A small dream

Being born as a human I came to realize that not all of us are lucky to have the basic needs of life.

While  she was pulling out the bucket filled with water from the well I heard the little girl with pony tails saying “Even when I was poor I would have a happy life, One has to accept life as being sad and painful, that’s all” .I don’t remember being that wise enough when I was 9 years old. Its true when they said kids that went through a lot become more matured compared to their peers. 

I grew up thinking that taking bus to school could be biggest hardship of life when I see other kids having parents with luxuries car. Watching a few documentaries on life under the comfort of my couch makes me realize the world outside there is not as gracious to others as it is to me.

Sometimes I will be a bit imaginative. I will imagine myself with cameras and books travelling around the globe teaching and helping this unfortunate kid to realize their dream. But at the end of the day I will get back to own self with my own problems and tries to shut off all this from my sight and focus more on getting a good sleep and dread to wake up to work the next day.

Wondering and thinking about changing the life of others is not enough. Some kids are really talented, they can paint, and they can speak so eloquently and fix things like bicycles and other machines. Being born into poverty means one day they have to give away all these things and forced to be the breadwinner for the family.

Masya Allah, I wonder what magic of education could mould them to be .All they need is someone to guide and unleash the true potential that these kids have. They will go far and might be more successful than all of us. It’s such a pity that money robs everything that they could have achieved with their life and it’s such a shame that we can do very little for them.

If I have money I would like to go around the globe, adopt these kids and build a school for them. I would like them to grow up and be fine men and women. I want them to speak good English and earn a good life for others as well.

I guess this is how life is, flawed but still beautiful especially when we realize how lucky we are and every now and then life offers a lesson to bring back home.

Maybe today I will just write…

A post out of Boredom-Tricks to call in sick to work

I called in sick to work  today and I am really bored right now. Last night I had some breathing difficulties,it seems that I am allergic of a medicine called Norgesic which Doctor gave me for the jaw pain that I was suffering for two months.

The choking/breathing difficulties last for more than two hours. I felt as though I couldn't breathe anymore and I see myself gasping for air and slowly attempting to breathe through my mouth. I still couldn't believe on what happened few hours back but one thing for sure when I started to see the vague figure of my dead grandfather,I certainly knew that Norgesic was playing with  my mind. 

Its Monday and its not cool to call in sick because its the busiest business day but I don't want to drive to work on this condition with drowsiness and so on. Eventually the breathing got better by noon and I'm well enough to update my blog.

For those who are not sick but want a day of two off,here are some tricks you can play along ;)

1. Called in the earliest possible to let your boss know that you are not feeling well to turn up for work. If you called later in the noon,most likely your boss will be suspicious that you woke up late and just making excuses not to come for work.

2.If you would like to plan leave earlier,make sure you act well to let your co-workers know that you are most likely will fall sick the next day.

3.If your boss/manager in your Facebook page,please don't be fool enough by updating status of your getaways or check in to any restaurant. That will make your boss really mad.

4.And yes please please appear sick when your turn in for job the next day,if you wanna cheat,do it the right way.


5. If  can please try to get medical certificates (MC)from a certified doctor.Its not that hard to fake your sickness just wake up in the morning don't brush your teeth and straightaway head to the nearby clinic. Changes are high where the doctor himself will offer you MC without you asking.

While these tricks are certainly effective,please don't overdo it and ended up losing your job. If you have a great boss like mine please try to go work everyday and less MCs means you have more bonus and promotions will come your way.

If you have an awful boss,then go ahead,play the trick well and make sure you  be a little more creative every  time you called in for sick.


P.S::The plan to introduce my mom to RJ couldn't be executed for certain reasons. Will definitely keep you guys updated about the progress.:)

A piece of dream

[Tried something different,quite a long post though. You may throw any kind of criticism into the comment box]

Wet clothes hanging on the balcony, I watch them proudly swinging their way in the wind like a careless child that doesn’t care about what lies tomorrow. I felt a tinge of pain on my eyes, wasn’t sure what causes it. Was it the summer haze or the memory of a child running veraciously chasing after the blue kite in the middle of a paddy field? I could hear her laughter, its contagious to the world. It’s been so long, the laughter still rings in my ear. Perhaps it was the latter; that child makes me feel so nostalgic on a Monday morning. It wasn’t a usual Monday morning though. The clock struck 8 am, Soumya was soundly asleep, I could hear her audible snoring. Ah, I bet the world she wouldn’t believe it when I told about her snoring when she wakes up! Tried that before and I failed. Soumya’s alarm buzzed frantically bringing me back to what she told me the day before.

‘Jansi,don’t ever forget to wake me up before you leave tomorrow’ said Soumya while craning her neck under the bed looking for her lost pencil. I chuckled at the thought that it could be near to impossible for her to get back the pencil as it might already swallowed by the ocean of junks that she carefully guarded under her bed all this while.

‘Ahuh..yeah I will but before that, don’t you think all these junks had already been two years old’ I said provided the fact that I’ve been her roommate for more than three years.

‘I’ll pretend I didn’t hear that ’she said.

                          

 I knew she will give up on the quest of finding the pencil as soon as she grabbed her blanket to catch a good night sleep. Soumya is always like that, a carefree soul, an antique collector, someone whom I will never trade for anything in the world.

I glanced towards the clock, bringing myself to this moment. I felt as though time is begging me not to be late especially on this auspicious day. I stood and head towards my wardrobe. It’s a peacock blue saree, a graduation gift from Soumya. I watch myself tying it in front of the mirror. I still remember how my mother tied it for me the last time. A red with golden border silk saree, she proudly exclaimed how much it cost and at the same time adoring the resemblance of her in me despite the tears that welled up my eyes.

‘I don’t want all this Ma, I don’t want to get marry.this is what I want Ma’I told her pointing to the offer letter from University of Madras which had been lying on my bed,stained with my tears all over it.  

‘You are a woman and you must get married’ she said while handing me a tray of coffee

‘Now go and make yourself worthy’

Worthy! Was that all she wanted from me? Till today I could never forget nor forgive. The day I bowed in front of some strangers, showcasing myself while obeying the rules set by the world.

‘My God,you look gracious Jansi’ Soumya’s voice startled me. She gave me a hug from behind and I quickly stop the tears that’s trickling down my eyes.I forced a wide grin on my face as I watch the excitement drawn on Soumya’s face .She will make up for all,she’ll be my family today. I assured myself.

‘Just give me a second,I’ll drive you to the campus’ Soumya said while heading towards bathroom with a towel on her shoulder.

Back inside the car, I was totally lost in my own thoughts. The ride that I took four years ago had brought me here. That night I decided to run away from home with a luggage of dreams and hope. It was midnight and everyone was soundly asleep after saying a toast to the alliance of me and Rajesh.

The beautiful view outside from the car window couldn’t pull back my wandering thoughts. I’d decided to leave the scenery behind this day. Memories of that moment kept on kicking my mind, stealing me away from the honking sounds and the couple that were fighting in the middle of the road. They had blocked away all the cars. In the meantime, I’m aware of Soumya swearing and throwing fist in the air but all I could hear was dead silence that accompanied me when I walked towards Amma’s bed that awful day. I kissed her forehead while whispering a silent farewell. She doesn’t know when a daughter goes to school; the whole family gets the scroll. Appa was sleeping on the other side, he had been so proud of me for bringing such a fortune to the family. Rajesh is a jackpot to us, I heard him saying to Amma. He raised me up just to bring me so much of disappointment.

Amidst the heavy traffic that overwhelmed the morning road, we reached on time. I saw a father adjusting his son’s tie and I saw a mother in a wheelchair kissing her daughter on the cheek. I saw a life presented in front of me, people from all over the world gathering to witness dreams coming true this day. Soumya wrapped her arms around mine assuring her presence beside me. Even though, she couldn’t make it through this semester but I could see pure happiness on her face as her best friend is the Gold Medal recipient of the year.

A huge applause came toiling behind me while I receive the honourable degree on the stage. I half smiled at Soumya whom had been beaming with pride as she said something to the lady beside her. I could slightly imagine that the conversation must be about me. I walked towards her and park myself on the empty seat to her left.

‘I think it’s time for me to go home,and this time I’m bringing along a piece of dream with me’I whispered to Soumya.

And for that I received the biggest hugs ever from her.

‘Yes,it’s time to go home’she nodded with a smile.

The ceremony took another two hours but all I could see was that child again. She was panting hard while resting her hands on her knees. She had stopped chasing for the kite as for now it had landed directly on her feet. I hear her laughter again,louder and now it brings me a radiant smile.

Dreams do come true with a little bit of running and chasing.

 For today, I felt how it really feels to be worthy.

[P.S: In some parts of the world,women are still denied access to a proper education. Hope the world will be more friendlier to all the women out there.]

It's my World!!

My world is silent today,

Hustle and bustle of the city,

Don’t come my way.

My world is out of trouble today,

Stress and pressure,

They are declared holidays.

My world is full of inspiration today

As I sip my favourite coffee,

While sitting by the bay.

My world is full of peace today,

Cherishing the present moment,

As Happy and fun memories replays

My world full of comfort today,

As I sleep from dawn to dusk,

Just to watch the night pass by.

My world is only for me today

No one is allowed.

Oh please, at least for a day!!

P.S : Ever wonder how it feels to live in your own world for one day ...truly escaped from whatever role that you are holding and living the life according to you! So I'm gonna kick away all my worries,sadness and anger and blanket myself with more and more dreams!!!!