Showing posts with label memories. Show all posts
Showing posts with label memories. Show all posts

Friday, October 11, 2013

Prompt No 20: Your earliest childhood memory

We dont let others to get into our small gang whom consist of five cousins. We stay in the same neighbourhood,our  room doors are always open to each other but not to strangers.Meal time is always wonderful because we have varieties to put onto our plates. I remember those days when we will wake up the earliest on weekends and go for our morning activities. Whomever reach the  the other side of the road first will  emerge as the winner .I remembered how having short legs and heavy body always prevented me from being one. We are also one of the creative kids in the neighbourhood. When we heard there is serial kidnapper roaming in our town, we decided to hold an ad hoc meeting and brainstorm ideas to protect ourselves from these criminals. One of the task was to create a weapon out of anything that can make us escape from dangerous adults. I came out with a weapon made out of ice cream sticks and needles. I sellotaped the needles to the sticks where the sharp points pointed out and covered it with a thermometer cap. Another one of us came out with bottle containing the shavings of pencils that can be used as an alternative to pepper sprays. 

Birthdays are always wonderful. Everytime someone's birthday hit the calendar , all of us will come up with something and combined it together to make it look like a hamper.This will definitely bring up a smile on the birthday baby's face. Meanwhile on the afternoons we spent time at the beach beside our apartment to collect crabs and also busy digging soils in the field believing that we can find new water source for all of us. We even make our own kites out of newspapers and bamboo sticks.I remembered my Dad had to come looking for me because I will be so lost in our adventures that dinner time always almost end at the time we reach our own homes.

As we grew to become adults,a lot of things have changed since then,we stopped talking to each other. I have lost touch with two cousins because our parents decides to end ties with each other. The other cousins are too busy with their own world and so goes with me. I have deliberately deattached myself from them because of clashing thoughts and arguments over things that doesnt matter.

Everything has changed. Now,we have new fields open and more playgrounds are built. There is a reserved path for cyclers and more shops available if you want to grab some chocolates.Sadly,the beach beside our apartment is no longer open for public and so does our hearts stop looking over for each other too..

Monday, March 5, 2012

Time to move out and move on.

My dear readers, let’s do something today. Help me to pack up. It’s time to shift old memories and compact it into a box. Seal it with tapes, make it airtight. They shouldn’t be let out nor should anything else be let it. Grab the photo frames on the dressing table. It’s been haunting me for days. Bring it on all the letters and cards under the bed. They don’t have a place there anymore. Clear all the clothes in the wardrobe, each of them telling me stories about yesterdays. I’m all over it and after all they don’t fit me anymore.

Shut the windows and draw the blinds. Pull over the luggage and clear the pile of dusts on top. I need the luggage to pack up some lovely memories. This house had seen many good things too, can’t bear to leave them behind in a place with no occupants. Lovely memories need me as much as I need them. It’s not fair to push away our good fellows to the back line especially when all the punishment belongs to the wrong guy.

Don’t forget the china set which given by a lovely friend. Reminds me of that special birthday that I had years ago. That old bed sheet smells of something sad. Leave it at the same place, they shouldn’t been drag along to the new bed. Oh my! I really need to be careful when moving out those fragile stuff, they should be handled with care. As for now, I only have them with me.

The contract had been drafted. Lawyers had been hired. All I need is to pen down a signature and the house doesn’t belong to me anymore. Now comes, the last ritual, the most awaited moment. I closed the door and lock it for the last time. With a luggage on my hands and boxes on the track, I bid the final adieu to my old life. Here I am now standing on my doorstep, blowing goodbye kisses to the old keys and threw it away behind those hills. Who needs the old key when the new home is waiting to embrace me with a hug?

Goodbye my old life, you’ll be forgotten but will never be missed. In either ways, you are at loss, not me. I have a new life peeking me from the other sides, convincing me to dream and begging me to move on. I felt wind brushing through my hair. It’s time to leave my past behind, it’s too burdensome to carry it on to the future. Isn’t it better to be safe than sorry?  The past had taught me that some mistakes are too costly to be repeated. Memories is what makes us who we are but when it starts to haunt you, then it is best to be forgotten.

After all, we have only one life, why not live it to the fullest?



Monday, February 27, 2012

A note from Myself to Me


Dear me,

I know you are not being in your best mood lately. Things going haywire and depression is a word that you are living right now. I knew the other day when you were coming back home from work at night, you could easily merge into some unknown road and never return home ever, but you did come back because this is the place that you always belong. Life is not a bed of roses, this is for sure.

Indeed, there will be a lot of stones and hurdles along the way, and so its time for you to kick away those stones aside and jump over the hurdles when you travel this journey called life. I agree that the world outside is not that as innocent as you have thought, so it’s okay to be selfish at times but never lose your dignity along the way. Things changed, people changed and you have to accommodate yourself with the changes because this time the change is certainly for your own good.

And there’s always a reason why certain people enter your life just to walk away after a while. Every bit of their memories hurt but always remember to hold tight to those happier moments because life gives you the fair amount of joy and pain. Life balances up itself that way. But it’s good because for every wrong person that comes into your life, they certainly left a lesson or two to bring home the end of the day.It may look so over the edge now,but I assure you,when you look back one day,all these moments will bring you tons of smiles and remind you how far you had travelled so far.

Deep down,I believe the spark is always there. Its just that you have cocooned yourself in a bubble.Let yourself go,let go the fear that is eating you up. You can always be the person that you want to be.Its all in the mind,unlock your true potential as I always believe that you are indeed someone special. The greatest fear is your own self,and when you learn to overcome it,I bet the world that nothing can ever stop you again. Speak up for yourself because no one else will do it for you. Remember you make choices not choices make you.

And I have all the faith in you because when you gaze upon the sky,you know that all the angels are busy conspiring with nature to bring you nothing but pure happiness. You have to give TIME some time. Be patience,I heard them saying. We cant be sure of what will happen the next second because life is certainly short but I will never let my hands off you.I'll be there within your reach and I'm someone you can always count on. No one knows you better than me myself.Till then keep smiling because that is the best dress you can wear for your face.

Sleep tight honey. Rest all your problems under the bed. Wake up to a new morning tomorrow.Its time to stop running and pause for a while to smell the roses.

From
Myself

P.S: Sometimes you just have to have hear it from your own self  :)


Friday, February 17, 2012

Because parting is such a sweet sorrow...........


Don’t you say Hello again, because I don’t have the strength to say Goodbye anymore. I’ll learn to embrace the cold that you threw towards me and let it to melt away the warmness in my heart instead. I’ll learn to accept the fact that your words doesn’t speak about me anymore. From now onwards, I will learn to cross the road without you holding my hand tightly, stopping me whenever I impatiently trying to get to the other side of the road.

When our favourite songs played in the radio, I’ll try to ignore the memories that came toiling behind those lyrics. When it comes to taking a bite of my favourite cheese burger, I’ll remember that you won’t be there to gently wipe away the mustard on the corner of my lips what’s more to keep me accompany for lunch. And so I’ll learn how to eat properly and alone next time. Somewhere along the way, if a stranger smiles, I’ll try to fast forward your never ending smile that could make me to leave the whole world behind just for that.

When the sunshine greets me, I’ll remember not to hope for a warm morning hug from behind my back. I'll even forget the morning coffees on the porch,the chocolate sundae in the drizzling rain.When the evening falls, I’ll make sure the windows and doors locked because it’s just me and the four walls tonight. I’ll try not to run towards the door anxiously whenever the door bell rang because it seemed that you have lost the track to my home.I’ll try to hide my disappointment whenever I mistaken a stranger for you at a departmental store because he look so much like you or maybe because I’ve just known only you all my life.

And yes now we have come to a crossroad that leads to different paths. I’m taking this side, and you’re taking that one. Don’t choose the same path as mine anymore. No,this time I don’t want to travel with someone who used to let my hands off in the middle of a journey.

It’s going to be a new journey, its going to be a lonely ride without you but somehow I can sense some freedom, a new breath and a new life, a new beginning that follows after a hopeless ending.

Here I am,destiny had brought me to the final page of the book and to my own dismay this book doesn’t deserve a second read.I'll bring it back to the shelves,let the pile of dust hide it away from my sight forever.


This time, I just couldn’t agree more with Shakespeare as ‘Parting is such a sweet sorrow’.

For someone who stole my heart, I’ve given a farewell as your gift……….

Sunday, January 15, 2012

Deleted




How is it feels to be forgotten? When someone decides to tear your page off from their book called memory? When all you can do is watching them in horror as they crumble your page and threw it over the roof. You stood there,motionless,wondering what went wrong that makes it painful for them to even remember you . It seemed that deleting you from their life is the best thing that they could do for themselves.I guess it hurts especially when we're left without a reason. Aren't we all deserve an explanation? On the contrary,what if someone forgets you unintentionally? Like Anita suddenly becomes the vague image of a girl who wore big glasses during high school. That's it! You no longer have a name,all you have now is a girl with big glasses. Eventually one day,without doubt Anita will soon be forgotten,no more big glasses,she will just be the invisible girl behind the class that nobody knows.I don't know which one hurts more,forgotten by someone intentionally or unintentionally.Maybe it's all depends on the person who forgets you but I know a thing for sure that I died a little when someone forgets me,I die again and again when someone kills me in their memory. Here I am with a warm coffee on the table and hands on my chin wondering how many people had killed me in their memories and how many people that I had killed so far?All I'm asking is forget me not. Will you do that for me?


Wednesday, November 16, 2011

I dwell in you,as you

My heart is stubborn
When it comes to you
You decided to walk away
It ain’t easy,
I’m everywhere
I’m the smile of a stranger
I’m the laugh of a kid
I’m the fragrance of jasmine
I’m the silence
I’m the noise
I’m the dreams
I’m the moonlight
You can’t hate me
Coz I won’t let you
I keep you in my eyes
I keep you in my days
I keep you in my memories
I shall be silent
Till you break it one day
I shall be smiling
Coz that’s how you remember me
Coz that’s how I remember you
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Its been some sort of a roller coaster ride for the past few weeks,I find myself on top of the world one moment,where I felt immense flow of happiness and pleasure and then all the fun disappears when I get down from the ride. Everything happened so fast.

People were flocking in my room called life. They shower me with smiles,hugs and yes lots of peck on the cheek. I felt loved truly by these people whom I get to know for just a while. I met some strangers and they fascinates me with their dreams and gave me a sense of realization that I too have dreams,and its time to clear off all the dusts and give my dreams a life.

The ride was fun but as soon as it ended,I felt as though I'm empty with no feelings and direction.I don't know,I'm confused more that ever but don't get me wrong,I'm not sad (Maybe this is just a phase of life)

And now I need hugs,yes Crystal's way of hugging ''super-tight,crushing-the-bones hug''

P.S: I have a friend who can make Lavender ice creams...  Isn't that awesome?