Prompt No 19:The last thing that made you cry

Every two days I will cry. I can't explain why,I know why but it doesnt matter actually. Its more like a programmed schedule, my biological alarm goes off and that's it,all hell breaks loose. One of most prominent event that worth for a blog post happened a month ago while watching a movie with RJ in the car. Body 19 (2007) is a Thai horror movie. I'm the kind of person who will be thrilled to watch a horror movie but cant deal with the consequences after watching one. Everything was going fine during the movie,  apart from the constant jump from the seat and mini heart attacks. I was okay till the end of the movie but as soon as the credit screen shows up I started to cry uncontrollably. Of course,the person beside was totally clueless of what happened and why I'm crying after watching a ghost movie. It's acceptable if someone refused to sleep alone at night after watching one but to cry with so much emotions is totally out from his limited understanding of his lady love. I owe him an explanation

And so I explained..

I cried because one of the character in the movie which later on became the ghost, was actually chopped into pieces by the person who claim to have loved her before. When the guy opened her up he will be shocked to find out that there is a feotus inside her body. Of course he mourned the lost life for a while but continue to chop the body even after he knew that its not possible to recover any pulse from her. I felt as if I was there at the crime scene watching a sin unfolding in front of my eyes. I witnessed him destroying every part of her body that loved him. I watched him killing two lives at the same time. I got depressed and couldn't stop my tears from flowing. I'm afraid what if one day the person beside me chopped me into pieces too. Everytime I watch a movie,I will take it personal,too personal that I will engage myself with the characters. I will feel their pain,I will cry for them and I will talk about them for days..and I cant stop thinking what will happen if I have the same ending as them. (Now you know what is my problem?) 

He looked at me,afraid to say a word ..

I will not cut you into pieces honey. I know he silently wishes that one day I can trust him fully,that no movie scenes could take that away from him.

Oh yeah, did I tell you guys that I'm totally banned from watching horror movies since that historical day?

Now and Then

I adore those who can write flawlessly, the way they line up words in sentences, creating a perfect harmony and mesmerizes anyone who reads them.

Words are beautiful, and to be able express oneself with words is definitely a gift that not everyone could own.
I love writing but for the past six months, words are hard to come by.

A lack of confidence I would say, but at the same time I do realize it could be because of the job I'm having right now. There's a reason why I'm still clinging on to the current job apart from the fact that it paid off my bills.

There's a lot of things happening in my life, some are very bad and some are very good. Life has its own share of ups and downs but then don't ever let your guards down. I have been hiding a lot of things from my parents and friends which I don't really like doing, but then it seems like nobody understand or even try to understand my point when I share
All their arguments seems to be based on religion and little on humanistic approach. It's really hard unless one day God himself can come down from wherever He is and explain to them about my feelings.
So that's why I have completely stop mingling around anyone these days and the sad part is I have stopped blogging altogether. From this post, you guys should have hinted how scattered my mind is right now but all I wanted to do is to start writing again.

Because parting is such a sweet sorrow...........

Don’t you say Hello again, because I don’t have the strength to say Goodbye anymore. I’ll learn to embrace the cold that you threw towards me and let it to melt away the warmness in my heart instead. I’ll learn to accept the fact that your words doesn’t speak about me anymore. From now onwards, I will learn to cross the road without you holding my hand tightly, stopping me whenever I impatiently trying to get to the other side of the road.

When our favourite songs played in the radio, I’ll try to ignore the memories that came toiling behind those lyrics. When it comes to taking a bite of my favourite cheese burger, I’ll remember that you won’t be there to gently wipe away the mustard on the corner of my lips what’s more to keep me accompany for lunch. And so I’ll learn how to eat properly and alone next time. Somewhere along the way, if a stranger smiles, I’ll try to fast forward your never ending smile that could make me to leave the whole world behind just for that.

When the sunshine greets me, I’ll remember not to hope for a warm morning hug from behind my back. I'll even forget the morning coffees on the porch,the chocolate sundae in the drizzling rain.When the evening falls, I’ll make sure the windows and doors locked because it’s just me and the four walls tonight. I’ll try not to run towards the door anxiously whenever the door bell rang because it seemed that you have lost the track to my home.I’ll try to hide my disappointment whenever I mistaken a stranger for you at a departmental store because he look so much like you or maybe because I’ve just known only you all my life.

And yes now we have come to a crossroad that leads to different paths. I’m taking this side, and you’re taking that one. Don’t choose the same path as mine anymore. No,this time I don’t want to travel with someone who used to let my hands off in the middle of a journey.

It’s going to be a new journey, its going to be a lonely ride without you but somehow I can sense some freedom, a new breath and a new life, a new beginning that follows after a hopeless ending.

Here I am,destiny had brought me to the final page of the book and to my own dismay this book doesn’t deserve a second read.I'll bring it back to the shelves,let the pile of dust hide it away from my sight forever.


This time, I just couldn’t agree more with Shakespeare as ‘Parting is such a sweet sorrow’.

For someone who stole my heart, I’ve given a farewell as your gift……….