Showing posts with label women. Show all posts
Showing posts with label women. Show all posts

Friday, March 6, 2015

India's Daughter and My Family

I am sure everyone has heard about India’s Daughter documentary by Leslee Udwin. For the past few days, rage swept all over Social Media on what some people in the documentary had to say about Rape and women’s place in the society. Well, the disgracing people include the defense lawyer M.L Sharma and Mukesh Singh, one of the accused.

I was appalled by what these strangers had to say about how India has the best culture in the world, a culture where there’s no place for women. I can still ignore or comprehend it for those words were uttered by a complete asshole who I have no relation at all. I would have just gone ahead as another day, grabbing a cold drink to chill my throat in this hot weather, but when one of my own family members said “Jyoti Singh is equally to be blamed for going out for a movie at night”, I was utterly shocked. But when one of my own family members said “Jyothi Singh is equally to be blamed for going to a movie at night”, I was utterly shocked. The person continued to justify her statement by quoting how women are naturally weak and how bad the world is around us. I was also lectured on how men’s only temptation is Sexual Temptation. She added that it was all up to us on how we guard ourselves. (Of course going out at night with a man who isn't your father/ brother/ uncle for a movie is certainly not one of it!)

My face literally turns white. I was astonished, sad and angry over a remark by someone I love, someone whom I share my frustration in normal daily basis.
What went wrong in our perceptions of our own gender? Since when a woman is against one another?

A lot of questions ran through my mind. Are we teaching our kids the right thing? That women and men are equal or are we are teaching our boys that God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man and the females should always adhere to their husband’s wish? That if she tolerates her husband’s emotional and physical beatings she would be rewarded in the hereafter!
If you think this kind of mentality only runs in certain part of the world, you are wrong! It’s happening right here in a small apartment of a middle class family in a developing country. It’s coming straight away from a well-educated woman. It’s happening right in front of my face. It wasn't her fault; it was how she was brought up. The harsh reality is there will be a queue of women who will echo her words.

When I fought and raised my voice against their mentality, my gaze were returned with dismays as if I have sinned, as if there’s something terrible with my mind and that I am going to end up burn in hell.


Whatever it is, I will fight till my last breath, if not to change the world I have to at least bring some changes within my own family.

Thursday, March 1, 2012

A piece of dream

[Tried something different,quite a long post though. You may throw any kind of criticism into the comment box]




Wet clothes hanging on the balcony, I watch them proudly swinging their way in the wind like a careless child that doesn’t care about what lies tomorrow. I felt a tinge of pain on my eyes, wasn’t sure what causes it. Was it the summer haze or the memory of a child running veraciously chasing after the blue kite in the middle of a paddy field? I could hear her laughter, its contagious to the world. It’s been so long, the laughter still rings in my ear. Perhaps it was the latter; that child makes me feel so nostalgic on a Monday morning. It wasn’t a usual Monday morning though. The clock struck 8 am, Soumya was soundly asleep, I could hear her audible snoring. Ah, I bet the world she wouldn’t believe it when I told about her snoring when she wakes up! Tried that before and I failed. Soumya’s alarm buzzed frantically bringing me back to what she told me the day before.


‘Jansi,don’t ever forget to wake me up before you leave tomorrow’ said Soumya while craning her neck under the bed looking for her lost pencil. I chuckled at the thought that it could be near to impossible for her to get back the pencil as it might already swallowed by the ocean of junks that she carefully guarded under her bed all this while.

‘Ahuh..yeah I will but before that, don’t you think all these junks had already been two years old’ I said provided the fact that I’ve been her roommate for more than three years.

‘I’ll pretend I didn’t hear that ’she said.
                          
 I knew she will give up on the quest of finding the pencil as soon as she grabbed her blanket to catch a good night sleep. Soumya is always like that, a carefree soul, an antique collector, someone whom I will never trade for anything in the world.

I glanced towards the clock, bringing myself to this moment. I felt as though time is begging me not to be late especially on this auspicious day. I stood and head towards my wardrobe. It’s a peacock blue saree, a graduation gift from Soumya. I watch myself tying it in front of the mirror. I still remember how my mother tied it for me the last time. A red with golden border silk saree, she proudly exclaimed how much it cost and at the same time adoring the resemblance of her in me despite the tears that welled up my eyes.

‘I don’t want all this Ma, I don’t want to get marry.this is what I want Ma’I told her pointing to the offer letter from University of Madras which had been lying on my bed,stained with my tears all over it.  

‘You are a woman and you must get married’ she said while handing me a tray of coffee

‘Now go and make yourself worthy’
Worthy! Was that all she wanted from me? Till today I could never forget nor forgive. The day I bowed in front of some strangers, showcasing myself while obeying the rules set by the world.

‘My God,you look gracious Jansi’ Soumya’s voice startled me. She gave me a hug from behind and I quickly stop the tears that’s trickling down my eyes.I forced a wide grin on my face as I watch the excitement drawn on Soumya’s face .She will make up for all,she’ll be my family today. I assured myself.

‘Just give me a second,I’ll drive you to the campus’ Soumya said while heading towards bathroom with a towel on her shoulder.

Back inside the car, I was totally lost in my own thoughts. The ride that I took four years ago had brought me here. That night I decided to run away from home with a luggage of dreams and hope. It was midnight and everyone was soundly asleep after saying a toast to the alliance of me and Rajesh.

The beautiful view outside from the car window couldn’t pull back my wandering thoughts. I’d decided to leave the scenery behind this day. Memories of that moment kept on kicking my mind, stealing me away from the honking sounds and the couple that were fighting in the middle of the road. They had blocked away all the cars. In the meantime, I’m aware of Soumya swearing and throwing fist in the air but all I could hear was dead silence that accompanied me when I walked towards Amma’s bed that awful day. I kissed her forehead while whispering a silent farewell. She doesn’t know when a daughter goes to school; the whole family gets the scroll. Appa was sleeping on the other side, he had been so proud of me for bringing such a fortune to the family. Rajesh is a jackpot to us, I heard him saying to Amma. He raised me up just to bring me so much of disappointment.

Amidst the heavy traffic that overwhelmed the morning road, we reached on time. I saw a father adjusting his son’s tie and I saw a mother in a wheelchair kissing her daughter on the cheek. I saw a life presented in front of me, people from all over the world gathering to witness dreams coming true this day. Soumya wrapped her arms around mine assuring her presence beside me. Even though, she couldn’t make it through this semester but I could see pure happiness on her face as her best friend is the Gold Medal recipient of the year.

A huge applause came toiling behind me while I receive the honourable degree on the stage. I half smiled at Soumya whom had been beaming with pride as she said something to the lady beside her. I could slightly imagine that the conversation must be about me. I walked towards her and park myself on the empty seat to her left.

‘I think it’s time for me to go home,and this time I’m bringing along a piece of dream with me’I whispered to Soumya.

And for that I received the biggest hugs ever from her.

‘Yes,it’s time to go home’she nodded with a smile.

The ceremony took another two hours but all I could see was that child again. She was panting hard while resting her hands on her knees. She had stopped chasing for the kite as for now it had landed directly on her feet. I hear her laughter again,louder and now it brings me a radiant smile.

Dreams do come true with a little bit of running and chasing.


 For today, I felt how it really feels to be worthy.


[P.S: In some parts of the world,women are still denied access to a proper education. Hope the world will be more friendlier to all the women out there.]

Saturday, January 14, 2012

The Reflection





   I saw the reflection of hers
On the mirror of a jawli shop
Slanting sunlight hurt my eyes
Doesn’t stop me from peeking her sides
Braided long snake hair
Telling me heart rending tall tales
Glass bangles dancing away
Spreading around musical chords
Red pottu attracting stares
Jasmine flowers luring bees
Leaving young lads drooling behind
Struggling to put her off their minds
Beneath her golden silk saree
Silver anklets playing hide and seek
Accompanying her every steps
Packing along honour and tradition
Of yesterdays and tomorrows
I haven’t told you something
That’s she’s black
And she’s a beauty!

-Jan 2 2012-

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To be honest, I feel strange here.I don’t know how to make a come back ..A lot of things on my mind, but cant really scribble from heart right now. In fact I feel like an alien in my own country, spent exactly 30 days in India and all I could say was it’s a beautiful place to travel and trust me I never thought   winter could be that cold. I find myself constantly lost and found in a stranger’s land but still felt somehow there’s not much difference between me and them ..Eat,pray and lots of friendship… I guess I’ve grown up a lot of years in just a month. 
On another note,I know that I have emails to be replied,blogs to be visited and so on….will do that soon……

So for now,tell me how’s this post?

Thursday, December 8, 2011

A Letter to an ugly man

To whom it may concern,

You have many sides and I have seen all side of yours. Clad in those Armani-Exchange shirt and silk tie, you happened to be one of the high profiled executives and I know how proudly you think of yourself. Do you know that they hate you, those ladies especially when you touch them on their back and stare at their chest while they do the talking? You may not be surprised that I knew this stuff of yours because it’s just too obvious. They don’t find the guts to act against you for the only reason that you are superior to them and this job is the only thing that will bring food on the table.

But there’s something else that I knew about you that you maybe surprised. The person that you became after coming home, the kind of beast that you transformed in that white shirt and cargo shorts. As soon as you open up that beer can, the beast side of yours came to the surface and the rest will be another day of nightmare for your wife and kids to endure.

Almost everyday she shows me the bruises and red marks all over her face and her back. She tried to put on make ups, but they failed to veil those scars. Whenever she shared her stories with me, I held back my tears, for the reason it could make her even weaker. She told me that she’s tough, she could work it out and there’s no way than staying with you for the sake of her kids. But then one day she was sobbing hard, cheek reddened and tears flowing and with interrupted speech she told me that your 16 years old son had started to follow your path. He started to sneak out the whiskeys and cigarettes from the shelves. I was hopeless but she was helpless. I hugged her and let her cry for a while, and then drive her back to the same hell called home. Since that day, she stopped smiling once and for all. I knew she lied about the ‘being tough’ part.

You have disappointed your wife, your mother and your sisters, but all this doesn’t matter that much because the saddest part of this story  is that you have disappointed your daughter, the eight years old little girl that will hide herself in the cupboard whenever the beating and abusing starts. That’s how it all gets started, the trembled hands still trembling whenever she hears your footstep.

You have stolen her childhood and her dreams for a better future. Now every time she sees a man, your image will be haunting her all her life.

I’m sorry to say this, you don’t even qualify to be called a man, because real men don’t abuse. One day, all the scars might disappear, the wounds might heal but those moments will be forever imprinted on their minds. Everything that you did will be reflected back upon you, and regrets will creep in…but it will be too late..the damage had been done,there’s no chance of returning back because the heart might forgive but can never forget.

May God never bless you!

From
A Stranger that hates you
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Ok peeps.let’s talk !!!

I have written this in conjunction of the 7th Annual ‘It’s time To Talk day’ a day that is, in the words of Violence UnSilenced board member Stacy Morrison “dedicated to just this one goal: to start and continue conversations about relationship abuse, domestic violence, and emotional abuse. This post was made to be fictitious but I can’t deny the fact that some part of this post holds truth.

If you know anyone in your close circles suffering from any kind of abuse, please for God’s sake help them to get some help. Remember your simple act of kindness can save a life, or more lives in some cases.Information on the campaign can be viewed here and there. Some words can make a big difference...
.........and LOVE SHOULD NOT HURT!!!!

Signing off,
The other Side of Me



Wednesday, July 13, 2011

She's my mother

Oh my God..I love my mother.she's a perfect lady..The reason behind all this loving words about my mother is because......


Okay,currently I am in my room, checking out some new blogs and busy commenting to their respective posts.and i heard some interesting discussion coming from the living room..At the moment, they are bunch of aunties in my house and they were discussing about my brother's wedding..So the much awaited (multi billion dollar question ) finally popped out.!!!!hmmm..so wat's you gonna ask as dowry????

The world is moving very fast, people are changing their mindsets and nowadays lots of girls are getting a decent education and they are becoming independant too-less depending on guys and having full freedom of deciding their own life!!! but still... people are still asking this kind of questions..especially women (to my dismay)!!!!

but I love the way my mother answered them..she answered ''i have two boys with me but never in my life i will ask for dowry''..Hmmm..im sooo proud of her,oh yes she's someone who's still holding tight to her old beliefs but when it comes to women's right..my mother is a modern thinker..And i love her more because of that..

p.s:love you mom :) and I think my future sister in law is a very lucky girl....

p.p.s: Cant wait for the wedding :):):)

Monday, May 23, 2011

What's the big deal?






What's there in  skin color? Does it matter what color someone has? Does it show the characteristic of someone? Okay,what are colors? Colors exist in different type.Red,yellow,blue..just to name a few. So skin colors are just like those colors.We can accept different colors in life but then why we tend to discriminate people who have dark complexion?If you can accept red for your curtain  and green for handbags,why can't you accept someone with dark complexions? They just have different type of color than us! So what's the big deal?


Recently I have came across someone who make a very immature remark on skin color.According to that person,educated girls don't have fair complexion and fair looking girls are not educated meanwhile the other side are expecting a girl that comes in a package! But what's even more appalling is that most of the 'educated' guys (by the way,they're few exceptions) making way for their parents to make this kind of  mistakes!!!So there's no difference between these people and those early American who discriminate the Africans.


Even babies are not spared from this issue. As soon as a child is born,the first question that would be asked is whether the baby is fair or not,not even what gender the child belongs too!!!One of my aunt actually applied Fair & Lovely cream to her newborn because her baby has dark complexion.=.=''''


And the cosmetic manufacturers are not helping at all.They often display advertisement that shows the  fairer looking girls are more appealing and will receive more marriage proposals than the dark skin girls.


So,this is what we gonna teach our children?




I guess its the time for us to act like humans,real humans..





Sunday, April 24, 2011

She's too,a woman



There she stood
Under the moonless sky
Accompanied by sorrows
Darkness envelops the night
As well as her soul

Cuddled in a red dress
Barely covering her neck
Strangely
Bright colours of the cloth
Could not brighten her heart


She’s a nameless woman
With thousand names
Whore
Home wrecker
A Sinner
Just to name a few


There she stood again
The sky watch by
And the street laughed 
Merciless
As she waits
For a stranger
To fill up her stomach
And To ease the cry of a child

She gave up her crown…
To a stranger
That comes by
One night
And every nights

Friday, March 25, 2011

Aren't they both beautiful?

Nature and women never fails to inspire poets around the world.
Apart from being a source of inspiration,both elements are very essential to life.

We cant deny the fact that both of IT have more things in common than dissimilarities.

Nature and women should never fall into wrong hands,they lose their spark if they do.They should never be forced to change,because changes without willingness will lead to their destruction.


And most importantly they are  beautiful in their natural state.



Oh Nature and women,
You are divine gift to earth..
What will we do without YOU...