India's Daughter and My Family

I am sure everyone has heard about India’s Daughter documentary by Leslee Udwin. For the past few days, rage swept all over Social Media on what some people in the documentary had to say about Rape and women’s place in the society. Well, the disgracing people include the defense lawyer M.L Sharma and Mukesh Singh, one of the accused.

I was appalled by what these strangers had to say about how India has the best culture in the world, a culture where there’s no place for women. I can still ignore or comprehend it for those words were uttered by a complete asshole who I have no relation at all. I would have just gone ahead as another day, grabbing a cold drink to chill my throat in this hot weather, but when one of my own family members said “Jyoti Singh is equally to be blamed for going out for a movie at night”, I was utterly shocked. But when one of my own family members said “Jyothi Singh is equally to be blamed for going to a movie at night”, I was utterly shocked. The person continued to justify her statement by quoting how women are naturally weak and how bad the world is around us. I was also lectured on how men’s only temptation is Sexual Temptation. She added that it was all up to us on how we guard ourselves. (Of course going out at night with a man who isn't your father/ brother/ uncle for a movie is certainly not one of it!)

My face literally turns white. I was astonished, sad and angry over a remark by someone I love, someone whom I share my frustration in normal daily basis.

What went wrong in our perceptions of our own gender? Since when a woman is against one another?

A lot of questions ran through my mind. Are we teaching our kids the right thing? That women and men are equal or are we are teaching our boys that God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man and the females should always adhere to their husband’s wish? That if she tolerates her husband’s emotional and physical beatings she would be rewarded in the hereafter!

If you think this kind of mentality only runs in certain part of the world, you are wrong! It’s happening right here in a small apartment of a middle class family in a developing country. It’s coming straight away from a well-educated woman. It’s happening right in front of my face. It wasn't her fault; it was how she was brought up. The harsh reality is there will be a queue of women who will echo her words.

When I fought and raised my voice against their mentality, my gaze were returned with dismays as if I have sinned, as if there’s something terrible with my mind and that I am going to end up burn in hell.

Whatever it is, I will fight till my last breath, if not to change the world I have to at least bring some changes within my own family.