Wednesday, January 7, 2015

In Sickness

I have been dealing with minor anxiety since morning. My thoughts run deep and wild, causing the slurring on my words. The whole day felt like a huge burden, hunching my back thus aching my whole body. RJ has fallen sick with flu. vomit and fever. Even to an extent of asking me to convey message to his mother saying he loves her despite everything that happened in the past. I couldn't ignore it for one of his jokes. He insist me not to come to visit him, for the fear of contagious. Besides, I was stuck in a vast, air conditioned office with my endless work which of course continued to taunt me and makes me feel as if I have sold my soul in return of financial stability. 

Have you ever felt this way in your life? 

Have you ever felt so helpless when one of your loved ones fall sick and you cant do anything about it?

Why do I always kept imagining all the worst case scenario?

Perhaps, it was fear of losing all I ever had that's making me so restless in this cold night.

I have stopped praying since long time ago and now I don't know what else to do.


  1. I feel like that all the time. My husband has auto-immunity and hence a lot of issues crop up with it. I cannot describe the anxiety when even some little thing happens to him like a cold or cough. But I know you get it since you are going through the same. Being strong is the only thing that we can do as soul mates. Hope - That's the only thing that will keep you going. Believe that he will recover soon. Believe that you can get out of this endless pit. That will give you the strength and the will to make things happen.

  2. Take care of yourself , everything will be fine . RJ will be fine soon ..

    I know what you going through been going throguh the same since 18th dec myself and fingers crossed .. my wishes your way .. God bless ..


  3. It's easy to feel helpless when you cannot save another person's life, especially a loved one.

  4. Sending positive and happy thoughts your way, my friend.

  5. I don't even know what it feels like to not feel helpless. I can't remember.

    / Avy

  6. Its a flu my dear. It will fly away :) Cheer up. Its a very long life.

  7. Hope RJ is now all fine and dandy and that you are feeling great too.
    It is normal to be all anxious about the safety and well being of the people we so love.
    Pray.....not to any particular God. Dont take names, just pray. It does help. :)

  8. Breathe. And keep breathing.


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