Thursday, June 26, 2014

Incoherent Thoughts

Past few weeks had been a ride on the seesaw. One moment I'm so high on life thinking I can achieve almost everything that I desire and the next moment I see myself curled up,unable to free myself from the shackles of torment. My mother sitting on the edge of my bed, crying and begging me to get married to her choice. I have to say No because I have no intention of marrying someone that I don't love and leaving the person I love for the sake of fulfilling my mother's wish. The huge generation gap between me and her is getting wider by the differences in our thoughts and way of life.On the other hand, the love of my life has become a silent punching bag for me to express my anger. Still,he stood by me,whispering encouraging words and sharing a beautiful hope for the future.

Perhaps,I sound like an ungrateful child disobeying my mother and rebutting each of her words.She seems tired of hearing my logic and my untimely dreams. Maybe I can never be the kind of daughter that she dreamed of having.Someday the whole world is going to judge me based on one decision that I intend to make and on that day all the good things I have done in the past will be washed away by the shore,forgotten just  like summer heat during winter. In the end,it reflects their own character, not mine.


10 comments:

  1. That last line.. You know the answer. You are the sole dictator of your life. You are not an ungrateful daughter.

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    Replies
    1. Thank you dear.Its a struggle to own the rights to my own life :(

      Delete
  2. I posted a comment too :(

    why are my comments not going through??

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  3. every generation has its own opinions. marriage is a very important thing and I think the life partner should be someone known to us and not a complete stranger.

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    Replies
    1. Exactly Ankita..I couldnt imagine marrying a man who doesnt know any bits of me

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  4. YESssssssss totally agree .. sometimes no matter what you do or how good one is .. one little thing and all that was good gets washed away ..

    I know that feeling .. seems to be I am always in that spot ..

    Bikram

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    Replies
    1. Yeah..That's how life is I guess..Thanks for reading

      Delete
  5. Balance your spiritual energy and get in harmony with your soul by practicing these Radha-Krishna meditations.


    Sri Gita Govinda
    -A book written in the 12th century, this is a description of the intimate loving affairs of Radha and Krishna
    http://www.mediafire.com/view/keqr4lqp7wr1rru/Sri_Gita_Govinda.pdf

    Govinda Lilamrta
    -An 400 year old book which poetically describes the eternal daily pastimes of Radha and Krishna
    http://www.mediafire.com/view/uhcuigauc6uqiei/Govinda_Lilamrita.pdf

    Ananda Vrindavan Campu
    -This is probably the most poetic and intimate portrayal of Sri Krsna’s life in Vrndavana that has ever been written.
    http://www.mediafire.com/view/k9j3ldwbt17be3b/Ananda_Vmdavana_Campu.pdf

    Prayers of Service to Radha and Krishna (Sankalpa Kalpadruma)
    http://www.mediafire.com/view/lvkqsro3sbzm249/Visvanath_Cakravarti_Thakur_Sankalpa_Kalpadruma.pdf

    Prema Samputa The Treasure Chest of Love
    http://www.mediafire.com/view/mpbncdyt97nw0x7/Prema_Samputa_The_Treasure_Chest_of_Love.pdf


    And the following four are taken from Visvanath Cakravarti's Camatkara Candrika, a 300 year old scripture that talks about the love meeting of Radha and Krishna:

    The Meeting in the Box
    http://www.mediafire.com/view/c81a7cp43n5v6aj/The_Meeting_in_the_Box.pdf

    The Meeting of Sri Krishna Disguised as a Female Doctor
    http://www.mediafire.com/view/hgomrnem7829pda/The_Meeting_of_Sri_Krsna_Disguised_as_a_Female_Doctor.pdf

    The Meeting of Sri Krishna Disguised as a Female Singer
    http://www.mediafire.com/view/gyuboduhn8dvdml/The_Meeting_of_Sri_Krsna_Disguised_as_a_Female_Singer.pdf

    The Meeting of Sri Krishna Disguised as Abhimanyu
    http://www.mediafire.com/view/911h9qoxn4ca027/The_Meeting_of_Sri_Krsna_Disguised_As_Abhimanyu.pdf


    And lastly, we have a very amazing scripture which describes the 24 hour daily loving affairs of Radha and Krishna in Vrindavan, called Bhavanasara Sangraha. This book is now available on Amazon for Kindle, for only $3.49

    http://www.amazon.com/Bhavanasara-Sangraha-Mahanidhi-Swami-ebook/dp/B00CW9H4DI/ref=la_B00J2M5LAQ_1_15?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1402209195&sr=1-15

    Here is a 41 page sample of Bhavanasara Sangraha:
    http://www.mediafire.com/view/t4gsse2d4sw0f8p/Sample_of_Bhavanasara_Sangraha.pdf

    The above book can also be read on your PC using Amazon Kindle for PC, download here for free:
    http://www.amazon.com/gp/feature.html/ref=kcp_pc_mkt_lnd?docId=1000426311

    Disclaimer: We are not affiliated with ISKCON in any way whatsoever. ISKCON, or "The Hare Krishna Movement" as it's popularily known, is a radical and extremist distortion of the original Radha and Krishna dharma from ancient India. The author of the above book Bhavanasara Sangraha is no longer affiliated with ISKCON either, having cut all ties to ISKCON a few years ago.

    ReplyDelete
  6. No two generations are same and every coin has two sides. I know how hard it must have been for you but you definitely cannot stop trying, talk it out to her, have a heart to heart conversation and let it be very honest. Or even better, call this wonderful guy over for dinner and let the aura speak for itself. If he's a keeper, you mother can't deny him sweetheart. Good guys are hard to find and on the verge of extinction anyway. Good luck, tell me how'd it go!

    Also, I don't want to use any swear words on this extremely serious post but who the fuck is this Anonymous person posting so off the topic or maybe its a spam.

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    Replies
    1. Risha my dear,its been so long since I drop by your blog. Not sure how I lost the link to your blog. He's indeed a wonderful guy and yes I shall bring him over lunch/dinner someday. But I'm not sure how my mother's reaction would be

      Its quite a complicated story to begin with..I just hope it get less complicated as time pass by

      P.S:Yes its a spam and its really annoying! This anonymous deserves swear words

      Delete

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