There was a time in my life that I felt as though the whole world came crushing on me. It wasn't only me who felt such way,my family members were affected as well by what happened on that awful day of October 29, 2009.
What was the hardest thing i have gone through
Death...It is the saddest truth of life or is it the only truth in life?
A lot of questions raced through my mind when I heard what happened. When we received the first call, we were told that he's lying unconsciously on the hospital bed ( which was obviously a lie). He was gone by that time and they didn't have the heart to tell us the truth. I was so determined to save his life at any cost. After few hours another call came in and we were told about what had actually happened to my cousin brother.
What first came to his mind when he realized that he's losing control of the plane and the next moment might not be his? How he felt when his entire life came flashing in front of him? Was there any moment he regrets the most? Was there any unfulfilled dreams? Did he remember the moment he peeped through the hospital glass to watch his newborn little sister and wonder how her life will be without him? What will happen to all the medals and trophy that shines proudly on his show case?
It was a bit hard for all of us to even think of a life without him.I mean how you even begin to a live without the usual phone calls and life update emails. How do you plan your vacation when the source of fun and happiness aren't there anymore? Life is certainly not the same without him. But you see, this is what happens when you went through the hardest time in your life.Slowly you will start to make peace with life and accept the term that not everything is sweet and rosy all the time. We all have to face death sooner or later.
Acceptance of his death brings me to another thought.Sometimes I wonder how would he react to the person I am now. I have changed a lot and maybe he wouldn't like the way I'm living now. I lie a lot to my parents and doing a job that I hate the most.These days I see myself a total failure. If anything good that happened in my life so far is the presence of RJ. I'm sure they will be good friends if he's still alive. Every time I speak to RJ, I see a glimpse of my brother in him.
I think that's how you deal with the death of your loved ones.
You see glimpses of them in everyone else....
He lived a good life ..I guess that's what matters the most now..
Thank you for reading..:)